They can do the mating dance

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#1 Sep 2 - 7PM

Anonymous (not verified)

They can do the mating dance

Sadly, like whooping cranes, hopping around on one foot, raising and lowering their heads up and down and making...well...loud whooping noises, the male narcissist does a damned fine mating dance. That's part of the draw!

Normal men in our culture are literally out of step. They don't quite know how to court, how to excite a woman. It takes a completely insincere asshole to really make us happy....until we realize they do the mating dance pretty well. It's nothing more than that.

Honestly, why can't normal men learn to be just a bit more exciting, in tune, in step, resonate with us? I mean, this is at least half the problem. Most men are a bit dull, a bit faded...plus to use the analogy again, they can't dance!

Ever see a white man on a dance floor? Even liquored up they look like Frankenstein on valium. Any significant movement looks like an uncontrolled discharge of their nervous systems, not an authentic dance move.

Tragic. I'm not exaggerating. Normal men are pitiful, stiff and strike me as having low grade autism. The rest are psychopaths or narcissists.

Thanks for reading. I just had to get that out of my system.

#2 Sep 2 - 9PM

Susan32

REAL Men do more than dance

A common thread here is that Ns/Ps WANT to be chased. They WANT the woman to pursue them. During the final D&D, the ex-Psych prof had me pursuing him all over campus... his girlfriend pursued him so much she gave up her job&moved to be with him. A REAL man does the pursuing. He is willing to fight for his woman (or man)-and he DOES. He doesn't cut&run when things are difficult. Ns/Ps are very animalistic in abandoning the woman after mating (especially when she's pregnant)... the woman raises the children. The ex-Psych prof EXPECTED me to fight his battles for him, to fight his girlfriend for him... he was too lily-livered to compete with other men for me. Ns/Ps like the chase-but they do NOT like the prize. The "thrill" is over. Ns/Ps know the mating dance... but not how to keep the relationship going. A REAL man stands with his woman. He doesn't drive her nuts. He doesn't abandon her when she needs him. He doesn't go out of his way to publicly humiliate her. He doesn't get a thrill when he has pushed her to tears. A REAL man comforts and protects.

#3 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #16)

CaminoReal

So well said

Thank you Susan32! You've stated exactly what I think. They DO love: ---being pursued ---creating conflict (real or not) between their women ---being taken care of /having their needs met ---watching their women in pain, cry, suffer ---TAKING, TAKING, TAKING, and TAKING some more----and by the way, they will ignore and mistreat you right after they have TAKEN! Here is the warped part...I want to hear from him. BUT, I have learned so much from everyone on this web site and other web sites. I often think some of us are talking about the same people!

#4 Sep 2 - 10PM (Reply to #17)

Susan32

He gave himself away...

The ex-Psych prof REALLY liked the following long quote below (contained in the blog post) about Cossack women- http://bigbook.posterous.com/tolstoy-and-females The ex-P is a big Tolstoy fan, so this is fitting. Tolstoy talks about Cossack men seeing women as a means to an end, as an instrument (Tolstoy's term)... and that it was WOMEN who were the providers. Tolstoy describes the Cossack women as masculine;the ex-P's girlfriend (now his wife of a decade) is quite masculine. The ex-P would say that if he married me, he wouldn't show me consideration in public or be affectionate... because that's how the Cossack men were to their wives. Tolstoy speaks of the woman's superiority (his wife was in charge of the business end in the household, quite different from my parents, in which my father is in charge of finances)... and the ex-P's wife DEFINITELY makes more than him. The ex-P wanted a Mommy to provide for him (and his Mommy is living with him)... NOT a partner&an equal. Now I can see why he didn't like the idea of me being a housewife, staying at home with the kids. PROVIDING for someone-SCARY!

#5 Sep 2 - 8PM

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

The great thing about normals

is, they can change. They can learn to do the dance, learn to make us happy and through that dynamic we can learn to make them happier. Whereas, the narcissist can't ever change. He's an egoistic meat machine.

#6 Sep 2 - 8PM

ruby01 (not verified)

You know what,

It's really sick what they do. Their life is disgusting. I thank God I am not one of them.

#7 Sep 2 - 8PM (Reply to #7)

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

Ruby

They are the lowest of the low. It's so easy for me to completely dismiss my narc now that I know what he is and what he is capable of. They are so so weak, so lacking in courage, so unmanly, barely human. I know the creature. I quit buying the act the day he went NC on me for no apparent reason.

#8 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #8)

ruby01 (not verified)

I still

have to look at mine, and I know that EVERYTHING he does, did, and will do is completely FAKE and twisted. I think he now has absolutely no use for me, so although he doesn't disrespect me now I'm not so sure that means he does respect me, if that makes sense.

#9 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #9)

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

Ruby, If he's like mine and I

Ruby, If he's like mine and I have to just guess what is going through his head, I would say mine doesn't respect me, doesn't disrespect me, he "nothings" me. I doubt he clearly remembers me. I am no different to him than a toaster or an old shoe he once enjoyed wearing. He might recall me dimly when walking one day. Sort of like, "I kind of remember I had this pair of shoes I was fond of. I think they were kid leather loafers, but they could have been nike's. They were nice. Oh look....there's a starbucks, think I'll go get a coffee!"

#10 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #13)

ruby01 (not verified)

Yea,

I don't think I'm in the clear yet, but he backed down, because I backed away, but enough time hasn't passed for him to figure out if its for real this time, so he's on as good of behavior as is possible for him, but I know if I slip he will take me down BIG TIME!

#11 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #10)

Susan32

Tension... pressure... pain

I'm taking my words from a '60s headache medicine ad. The last time I broke NC, I dealt out some narcissistic injuries... ON PURPOSE. Let's remember that before the final D&D, I dealt him NUMEROUS unintentional narcissistic injuries, heck, I even APOLOGIZED to him. But this was kinda cold&calculated. He probably thinks I'm out to destroy his fantasies like anarchists who wreak havoc for its own sake. During the final D&D he accused me of being destructive. I guess I am destructive in that way. He might associate me with narcissistic injuries of the DEEPEST kind.

#12 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #11)

WakingUP (not verified)

Or he called you destructive

Or he called you destructive merely because he was projecting.

#13 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #12)

Susan32

It was projection!

The ex-Psych prof relished the fact that his birthday, September 14, was the same day that Napoleon started burning down Moscow in 1812 (he is obsessed with "War and Peace") He probably was ecstatic over the HUGE wildfires in New Mexico. Of course, if I were purposefully destroying his fantasies, I'd smirk and say "It's all in your head" (then roll my eyes) Hurling projection back onto someone who's projecting can be so much fun. Cheap thrills. Being detached from reality is bad enough... and then having someone mess with your virtual reality... kinda crazy. It does explain why he liked the Matrix movie. The main thesis of the series is that reality is a virtual reality simulation.

#14 Sep 2 - 8PM

SoaperGirl

Sadly, I think you speak some truth there

I've seen it myself. Maybe its because many of those men despite all the masculine bravado have no idea how to relate to a woman. Many I think are indeed shockingly insecure about their own attractiveness (unless they happen to pathological like a narc). A tiny note: I remember the first gig my son played. He looked gorgeous standing in the spotlight, wearing a sapphire blue silk shirt, long blonde hair like a a young Kurt Cobain (but better!). I've also heard other women describe him as looking like a young Brad Pitt. That night, I sat at my table watching him sing, his band playing and saw the girls in the audience who were drooling over him and found him quite sexy looking. (I also heard them talking about him so I know this for a fact they liked very much what they were seeing!) Afterwards, when I was telling him how all those young college girls were going gaga over him, he moaned "Why didn't you tell me Mom?" Rats! A missed opportunity! Just goes to show that even a handsome young man can be insecure over his attractiveness to the female gender.

#15 Sep 2 - 8PM

WakingUP (not verified)

I'd have to agree... However,

I'd have to agree... However, Narcs are big fakers. Their mating dance is all smoke and mirrors. They need female attention for their survival. They know how to excite a woman because they've had lots of practice - with insincere but well rehearsed lines. Its not about you. Its about their need for supply. You're not special to them, you're not the most beautiful woman they've ever met. You're not their soul-mate. But they sure can make you feel that way.... and its only to hook you. A good actor is a good actor. And don't think you can trade great "chemistry" with someone who has the emotional maturity of a 7 year-old, for an actual happy, sincere, well-functioning, evolved relationship. Because then, you'd be just as delusional as the Narc.

#16 Sep 2 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

Waking Up

I'm making a very basic and very general statement about white men in our culture. Many of them are out of step, out of resonance with themselves, let alone anyone else. Narcissists are hyper sensitive to others, when they want to be; when it serves them. This isn't a positive thing. It's a manipulation. It's like they are exploiting a psycho-social niche. There are so many women who are starved of genuine connection with the opposite sex the parasite moves in to take advantage. Nature abhors a vacuum. I'm sure no supporting narcissism. What I'm trying to say is, we have to look at the big picture. Why are these jerks so successful?

#17 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #3)

WakingUP (not verified)

Ensychopedia... I agree with you...

They are successful at the mating dance, and yeah, the big picture is really important here. - My point was for those of us who get a little blinded by the "fake show." "It's like they are exploiting a psycho-social niche. There are so many women who are starved of genuine connection with the opposite sex the parasite moves in to take advantage." - So true.

#18 Sep 2 - 9PM (Reply to #4)

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

I actually think we are

I actually think we are hardwired to be blinded by the fake show. That's the sad part. I lived in Spain for a time and learned that Spanish women are very attuned to the fact that the opening phases of courtship with npd or a normal are just complete bullshhit. It is however, necessary bullshit to get chemistry going. I had an amazing Spanish lover who was a bit of a narc but not npd. He was a nurturing, romantic, poetry spouting doll, not to mention gorgeous. I left Spain before the mating ritual ended, luckily. I don't know how it would have played out had I stayed. But eeehaaahhh! What an experience. Oh Senor Garcia, where are you now?

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