They broke up

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#1 Sep 14 - 9AM
Deidre40
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They broke up

I was told ex N's new gf, 'found out' something, and they are now broken up. I prayed she would see him for what he is. And then I stopped thinking about it, and left it in God's lap.

But, finding out this news, I didn't smile. Nor gloat. I don't feel anything, surprisingly. Strange that our ex mutual friends still share this stuff with me, it IS getting less and less. But, they felt the need to share this tidbit with me. Which at the point, whatever. I was going to block my phone, etc...but, I'm over it.

I wonder what happened though. Hmm. Supposedly he is very 'mad,' about it. I imagine the mask fell.

Anyways, just sharing

Sep 14 - 12PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

They usually do

And this is why they come crying back to Momma!! Be careful this is a time when you could be vulnerable to his kicking up the hoovering a few notches. Be cautious of any new hoovering attempts and be strong and wise. God bless, Goldie
Sep 14 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Deidre40
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goldie

Lol – goldie…I hear ya. I’m preparing myself, but in all honesty? Out of pride, and saving face with our ‘friends’…doubtful he’d ever reach out to me. I highly doubt it. But never know with a narc!!
Sep 14 - 11AM
petal
petal's picture

Mine too

My ex's new gf also just broke up with him and same story, some mutual friends told me. I don't want to know anything about him and the few mutual friends have told me less and less about him over time. This news had a bigger impact on me than I thought however. I am now worried that he'll contact me again, feeling anxious about it. Also feeling sad again, like I did when we first broke up.
Sep 14 - 9AM
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

I had something similar

I found out from my kids that exN#1's gf has been hinting/begging for some time to get engaged. Apparently exN#1 is not feeling the same way because it hasn't happened although he did buy her a ring for her birthday. It wasn't what she was hoping for but she told my kids she was going to "wear it on that finger anyway". They haven't been anywhere together in almost 2 months (previously glued at the hip) and I'd say all is not well in narcville. The only thing I felt about the situation was pity for her because I know exactly who he is and how much I struggled with him. She doesn't know yet how lucky she is that he won't marry her.
Sep 14 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

how sad for her, indeed. but,

how sad for her, indeed. but, she has issues too, it seems. to 'beg' a man to marry you...hint...whatever. yikes. i wouldn't want to become engaged in that way. so, she plays right into a narc's hands, that's for sure. not blaming her, but she is exactly the type of woman a narc seeks to be with--someone unsure of herself. just like i used to be! when we get sure of ourselves. when we grow to love our lives without these people. we can truly look back and see where WE went wrong in the narc dynamic. @ freaked...yes, it was most certainly not you. two friends who shared this 'news' with me, did so by text. i didn't reply. one of them feels he will be reaching out to me again. lol we'll see. if he chooses to, he will be very surprised as to what he gets. SILENCE.
Sep 14 - 9AM
Deidre40
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hi freaked--you know what's

hi freaked--you know what's funny, not ha ha funny...but perhaps, ironic, is...I no longer 'care.' Like there was a time when hearing his name would send my heart racing (in a bad way) I wanted revenge. Or I wanted some type of restitution. But, when I heard of this, I had no reaction. As though I was hearing about the mail man's life...someone totally unrelated to my life. But, as I sit here today, remembering back (wasn't that long ago) to when we were together. How he treated me. How he has absolutely no respect for women. I find some refuge knowing...IT WASN'T ME. I think we all wonder that. Even if we're healed and the person is long gone. I posted this, because in some small way, when we see them demolish yet another 'good' relationship with a 'good' person...we KNOW...it was not us. I think on some small level, it brings us closure.
Sep 14 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Pride and Shame
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It wasn't you

It wasn't you. Sweet validation. Breathe it in and go forward with a smile...
Sep 14 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

prideandshame

Thank you! I want to say I’ve healed, but there were times when I thought…maybe it WAS me. Maybe I was difficult, too picky, high maintenance, etc. Nope. It wasn’t me. And he was dating a very kind woman, I was told…who had a little boy. I saw a picture, someone had sent to me. (I don’t use FB) I remember being so angry that he had landed yet another innocent unsuspecting soul. I remember asking God to open her eyes, and to help me move on. And He did. I not only moved on, but she apparently opened her eyes to the jerk he is, however that happened, as yet to be revealed to me. Can’t say I’m not curious, but I truly don’t care anymore. Perhaps, that is what God wanted for me. To get me to a point of indifference, so that I would be strong. Strong to not care that he is single. I appreciate everyone’s advice here today, thank you very much!!
Sep 14 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
freaked
freaked's picture

I agree Deirdre. It is a form

I agree Deirdre. It is a form of closure. And importantly...it has helped you realise that it was NOT YOU. In a way, you are helping me to understand that it was NOT ME.
Sep 14 - 9AM
freaked
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This is a heartening post to

This is a heartening post to read Deidre. Thank you for sharing.