Their beat goes on

It's been a while since I've stopped by - and I wanted to share an experience and to encourage everyone.

While going about my normal daily business, I came across a tweet from my narc while doing a search on twitter. He tweeted that "upon reflection, people don't put enough time and energy into their relationships".

(Mirror mirror - talking to himself although he doesn't realize it). (And time for me to block him somehow so I don;t ever run into him again on twitter)

And he was addressing it to his next target - a beautiful women with lots of cash (as he openly thanked her for her "friendship" and calling her "hot"). Really pushed my buttons because I let it!)

He's about to declare bankruptcy from what I hear on the QT. Is being sued and will most likely have more lawsuits because he's screwed so many.

This women - What a great find for him! I hope the best for her and that she reads the tea leaves carefully. Like most, she doesn't see him as he truly is yet.

What stung is that I offered him friendship and support, we all did. But, like a narc, he's closed the door to all of us with D&D and is now moving on in true narc fashion...all the while giving people hope that he will repay the hundreds of thousands he owes everyone.....I truly hope he keeps that promise - but only time will tell.

So my point is - it is a cycle - THEIR cycle. To constantly find new people without apology and feeling quite justified. Not enough energy into friendships? Pahleeze!!

The only thing that stopped me from a true tail spin was relistening to videos and audios from an expert in narcs - to remind myself of who they are and how they are.....so I can get back on track and not waste one more second of my precious time on this person.

And I want the same for all of you. NO CONTACT truly works. YOU can do this - for YOU. You deserve better in your life. Do what ever it takes to restore your sanity and learn about these people so you can avoid them at all costs in the future.

Educate yourself. Read. Participate. Get into therapy / support groups. Forums like this one (Thx Lisa and Betty and anyone else behind the scenes).

Be proactive with your life!

Merry Christmas everyone. Cheers to a NARC FREE NEW YEAR !!! TM GIJ lol

michele115's picture

EXACTLY!
Deidre99's picture

I appreciate reading this just now. THANK YOU! I agree. No contact is the best thing. It stings a tad here and there...but, I don't miss the drama. The negative mudslinging he was doing to me. I don't miss being an emotional whipping post for all the things he wishes he could sling at his ex wife, and doesn't. He isn't the devil. He isn't the worst person I've ever met, but he definitely is troubled. I remember thinking that early early on...this man is troubled. Time to get back to the land of normalcy, with people who truly truly care about me, and not just a source of supply. Thanks for this...God bless you!
MOORE's picture

Hey You know that is what I keep finding myself doing when reading all these dreadful stories - oh he wasn't as bad as that, well at least mine never did that to me, maybe he is just a bit troubled -something I always thought I could save - however, there is a reason we have that knot in our stomach, scared to not answer the phone or respond straightaway, relive every hmmm as an answer to a question (clever we can never accuse them of lying if they just omit!!), always having sex more aggressive, recently mine had got to covering my face with his hand, the unlimited supply of bjobs, where they seemed to want to make you gag with the force, Iwas thinking how little we actually just kissed and carressed, how something never felt quite right -how relieved we were if they were happy, in a good mood - mine never complimented me at all, but how I strived for some accolaideetc.......also, in moments of weakness, let me know if you feel the same, there are so many of these men out there - am scared, to even think or if I will even recognise a great guy - but I know having read so much it is the fear of the unknown which will keep us wanting to go back to that familiarity and drug that is the n -am just trying to focus on me,my children, my jobetc......Iget glimmers of the nice times, and then quickly jump on this site -I know that he and I would never live happily ever after, so would only be delaying the inevitable and taking time out of my life in not meeting someone genuine and real -every time I go to text, I could so easily fall into that 'friends' situation, but when Iread on here the outcome - it stops me; Idare not have a glass of wine right now, as that would be the hardest thing not to drunk dial and text....................
gettinbetter's picture

If its only stinging you are in good shape. I have felt and am still feeling like I am having limbs amputated with out anesthsia. You see the more history you have with them the more pain so its good you werent with this guy to long. I bet you will have a speedy recovery. Amen that you got out early before too much damage was done.
Used's picture

totally agree, 4 of the narcs have been in touch this week, i was telling a freind today, and she said.thats because they all need you..i said yes,NEED ME, NOT LIKE OR LOVE ME
MsVulcan500's picture

That's exactly right. Narcs only NEED people, there is no more to it.
Used's picture

some of my post got lost, so here is the rest, my freind said, i never thought of that..well nor did i last year, but this board and nc has taught me diffrent...... no love no like just NEED!!! merry christmas to all my freinds and teachers on this board. may we keep on learning. xxxxxx
GIJ's picture

When you learn the red flags - they make it so easy to see.... Hence the wonderful title - "It's all about me." I'm so glad you have that power and observation skill. four narcs is a big number! I guess coming up for air at the holidays has them looking for supply. too bad they can't see relationships are year round... Wishing you a narc free new year (tm) and one filled with lots of love and like ;)
Used's picture

Wishing you a narc free new year (tm) and one filled with lots of love and like ;) RIGHT BACK AT YA. and i know i am liked and loved, so doesnt it make you wonder how we get involved with people like this?
MsVulcan500's picture

Wow, it's amazing how one little tweet can set you off! But I think you handled it perfectly. Since you have educated yourself on his PD, you were able to immediately see through it, and didn't think that he was somehow going to be better for the next one. I feel bad for the target, and hope she is smart enough to not part with her money for him. It is true, everything is just a cycle for narcs. There are the people they need something from, anything, and everyone else is dead to them. And they can move on from person to person or group to group and not think anything about it. That's because they never have any real feelings for any supply. It sounds like you're doing well, though, and you got right back on track. You're right, the education is the most helpful in regards to getting to accept this. Once we get to the point where we realize it wasn't personal, that we just happened to get in their way, it gets a lot easier. Merry Christmas to you too!!
GIJ's picture

I was also surprised by my *energy* over this....and had to take a look at that and shore things up for myself. For a moment, I lost sight of the fact he's a narc - having once again hoped he would respond differently, be the person i first thought he was. But he can't and won't. i need to remember that and not take it personally. It sounds like you appreciate what it takes to stay on track. Boy - it's one thing to know what to do and another to actually do. I can never underestimate how warped they are or what impact they can have. I am blessed to have a friend who adopted an older child who turned out to be a raging narc...so she gets it and helped me talk through it. As the narc expert states in her DVD, "Normal people are always, always, always hurt by pathology." Hence the need to stay away. I fell for it all in the beginning because of a lack of knowledge, but followed a predictable path, according to the DVD: Thought he was normal, Started covering for him thinking it was temp, he would get his act together, I / we could help, etc - when it's really perm One day cog dis set in big time Started to see things from his view - hence aligning myself to help with the cog dis - but really, we have a huge values disconnect so it really blew me away Then had a total melt down and thankfully reached out to others for real answers. Major take away for 2010 - expect narcs to be who they are - and no longer have 'human' expectations of them - because they can't change - they are narcs, sadly. And to realize how many are out there,how they really operate, what to look for, etc. And to think the numbers are increasing is mind numbing. The impact they have on churches, workplaces, etc - staggering. Perhaps colleges should teach a course "Narc 101" lol