'thank you'
'thank you'
I can't thank you all enough, that this forum is here. The N in my life is still playing games, but I'm ignoring him. But I have to tell you, if I did not know what I am learning here? I might have been inclined to go back, or to think I was the crazy one, or maybe even needed him ... as he tries so hard to convince me that I do.
It's a horrible world they drag us into. I found myself behaving in ways I never thought possible of me. Especially the anger. There were times I found myself SCREAMING in anger at him at the phone, while he would be arguing back. I never knew such insanity. I'm one of those 'peace loving' kinds of persons, but I turned nearly into an animal with this guy. It scared me what I saw happening to ME.
And my morals? And my beliefs? He worked so hard to change all that. Praise God, I got away before he did ... but the doubts he placed in my mind I'm still working to 'rub out' with truth once again.
These persons are crazy, dangerous, persons. Yes, he told me I was 'beautiful' ... that I was 'the one' ... all of that rubbish. Reading here, I see how similar our stories are, and I am amazed. It just shows me how much of a disorder NPD really is. These madmen behave so much the same ... think so much the same ... which is majorly warped.
I really fell in love hard with the 'pretend guy'. I hadn't been with a man in many, many years until I met this one, and then he proves to be very sick. Those feelings of love kept me going back, but the more I read here ... and see his behavior ... the more 'pretend guy' goes away, and so do those feeling of love for him.
I am finding here the knowledge and support I need to be strong enough to stay away. I thank God for this place.
I've been around here now for about 2 weeks ...
and each day, I feel the mind fog lift alittle more ...
each day, I feel alittle more of my sanity to return ...
each day, I feel alittle more hopeful about my life.
... I just had to take a minute to say 'thank you'.
I feel the same way. This
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