text message from the N today...so much for the OW

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#1 May 11 - 3PM

Tinker

text message from the N today...so much for the OW

I dropped off his box of things today at a neutral place, which he must have picked up soon after. I got a couple TM's about what was in the box, saying it was odd i included one thing, asking about another.

(if you remember, he D&D'd me 2 weeks ago telling me how wonderful this new woman was, how they were just holding hands and how he was going to take it slow, have a LTR and be happy with her. He'd never openly dated or mentioned another woman in the 3 years i've known him so i thought maybe it was serious. He was nasty tho, telling me i was crazy.)

Then, later today, i got a long TM that said he'd have sex with me (in very graphic demeaning terms). he then wrote: "I am not going to give myself to anyone of depth for a long while. If you can accept these limits, then OK. nothing personal and no drama."

so much for the OW! even if he is still seeing her, to write this to me says it all ~ how he thinks of her, treats her! if he's not, then she lasted about 20 days. wow...isn't it SOOO typical??

#2 May 12 - 9AM

Susan32

It was all backwards

The ex-Psych prof distanced himself from me&gave me the silent treatment... when he&I were in NM, and the long-distance girlfriend was in CA. He was the *ONLY* bachelor professor who was dating someone who was in another state, not to mention another time zone. His colleagues were dating women who lived in town. He was the only in an LDR. But as soon as his girlfriend moved in with him, he was hoovering me like crazy, and I'd just ignore him. Believe me, if I had the $$$ I would've booked him&his girlfriend a romantic getaway at Ten Thousand Waves (a local spa)... and his gratitude would've been obligatory.

#3 May 12 - 8AM

spinning

Marissa, sweety,

DON'T BE THIS JERK'S SEX TOY. The graphic description of what he'd like to do with you is disrespectful and telling. Huge red flag indicating exactly what he thinks you are good for. This is triangulation, big time. The OW will be the madonna. You the whore. I hope this is not hurtful and I hope it doesn't sound mean. It just irritates the h@ll out of me when decent, kind, smart women are treated poorly by disordered individuals who lack character, self-control, a moral compass, etc. etc. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. Two weeks out is too soon for you to realize WHAT A SCUM this guy really is. Please stay NC, especially now that he's revealed his TRUE NATURE and give you back some power. That will be the gift you take away from this and make it easier for you to close the door. Hugs to you, marissa. You've been doing great. There are good things ahead for you, including a man who will treat you well should you so desire. Love from (not) spinning (and so HAPPY TO BE FREE!!!)

spinning

#4 May 12 - 3PM (Reply to #15)

Tinker

yea ur right !

now i see how gleeful i was in his response. of course, it's ridiculously demeaning, to me and her, if she's still around. last summer i would have been a wreck, this time, i truly laughed at what he wrote, it was so predictable! so, i guess that IS better, right? thank you, Spinning for your response, your right-on advice. moral compass?? so funny, that's probably the basis for all their (and our) troubles, they have NONE. thanks for ur hugs, i wouldn't be here (prob not on earth, and def not in this better place) if it weren't for all of you. hugs

#5 May 11 - 6PM

findingmeagain

don't be fooled

i bet money that woman is still around. don't think because he said that , that means she is gone. he is just a male whore and you need to realize this. i don't know why you gave him , those things back he probably wasn't even thinking of them . i would've trashed those things. don't get your hopes all up about her being gone you need to worry about YOU . that should be your main focus.

#6 May 11 - 6PM (Reply to #10)

Tinker

ur right...

i had no hopes, it only proved that he hadn't changed if he's wants to see me. sure, she'll be around if she wants to put up with him (i know another woman who felt he was dangerous and crazy and blocked him out immediately) but probably not. i got what i wanted which was a turn around from her being so perfect for him two weeks ago. sure, it bothers me that it matters at all, but i'm working on it:)

#7 May 12 - 6AM (Reply to #12)

Disillusionedx2

kEEP IN MIND....

Great, you are seeing what you need to see and maybe hearing what you wanted to hear, it's all an illusion, it may not seem so when they are grooming other supply sources but it is so, they are who they are, they are not changing their ways, just their supply source, yet you have to go through what you must to "get it" giving him those things just fed his supply hunger, he saw a weak spot in you and swooped in for the kill, sure it may hurt to see/know they are with someone else and things seem to be working out with them so why not you? Never that with an N, NEVER, this N has gone through at least 4-5 OW in 7 months, I've watched/heard it unfold from a safe distance, his last ow is devastated and spinning now, I want to reach out to her but I can't, the new ow is on cloud 9 but not for long.....it's about you now, keep working, you're getting there slowly but surely, it takes time and some harsh realities to face, best wishes!

stay~strong

#8 May 12 - 8AM (Reply to #13)

findingmeagain

I just thought of something

And who is to say this guy made the OW made she cut him off for a brief moment and he comes running to you to get his rocks off . I mean come on now or maybe she is on her period and he wants sex. Its something he wants and its not love, a relationship, or honesty. She needs to give this guy his walking papers and keep it moving.

#9 May 11 - 6PM (Reply to #11)

findingmeagain

okay because when my ex azz

okay because when my ex azz came bsck i was thinking that too only to be D&D 'd 10 days later. I got some valuable information though but in the end i came to realize this woman is not going anywhere and if i let him he would just bounce from her to me and so on. I bailed out she is still there because she is number 1 NS right now and financial too . so ....the thing that amazes me the most is she says her husband was supposely leaving at the beg. of this month. and she has 3 daughters one is a teen and the other 2 are under the age of 10 and she is just gonna let him in there with her kids and she doesn't even really know him like that. smh.

#10 May 11 - 3PM

Ladydb123

Text msg fr Ex Narc Friend

I received a txt msg Tuesday evening. "You know you are my best friend, couldn't ask for a better friend". Been thinking about you will call soon. I did not reply and I hope I am not at home or busy if he calls. Yes, I broke NC last week when I was concerned about him and his son, in hindsight I stirred the pot for his NS. But, who does that when your new Lady was your Ms. Perfect three months ago? Is she now being D&D'd. She should be your best friend, not me. I am getting this madness slowly but surely, I now recognize that he is playing to my strong beliefs in friends and friendships. (My weakness)

#11 May 12 - 6AM (Reply to #7)

Disillusionedx2

"best friends"...such children!

They change "best friends" like we change our undies, they are like school children, what adult, mature, emotionally stable male claims to have A "best friend" N says it all the time and every other week the person changes, mind you, they're always females, lol.

stay~strong

#12 May 12 - 9AM (Reply to #8)

Ladydb123

Thank you Disillusionedx2

I think your comments were directed at me Ladydb. The more I read the comments here the better my understanding of how this sick crazy person operates. He is not a Man he a parasite and will continue to feed off of any woman that will listen. Hugs and again Thank You!!!

#13 May 11 - 4PM (Reply to #6)

Tinker

weakness

normal people have concern for people they care about, or cared about. it's hard not to sometimes see them as sick/scared/needy. i think that's normal and to our credit. at least his tm was nice! yes, this woman was perfect two weeks ago! he's already gotten rid of her or is willing to cheat on her. i can't say this is easy but it's better. i do still crave to be with him but he humiliated me so much i just can't do it. in the past, i'd take this same offer, vow to not care too much. but no more...

#14 May 11 - 3PM

momoya

Typical

Pretty typical. They are known for getting bored quickly, if that supply isn't just right...they split. Totally not surprised to here this...maybe this will help others feel a little bit better about their situations. It happens so often. Glad you are in a much better place!

momoya

#15 May 11 - 3PM

Hunter

Narc Book

Really, how fortunate of you to get a piece of him! I truly wonder what the he'll goes on in their heads? Mine said " sex is just sex" come her if you like but that's all you get! Yippie for me! They are dysfunctional in every way possible, from sex,jobs, social Skills, life! Hunter

#16 May 11 - 6PM (Reply to #2)

Redhead1

I am just thinking out loud

I am just thinking out loud here. Has anyone ever turn that "sex is just sex" around on them. I really don't think they would feel that way about it if we said it to them. They are games

#17 May 12 - 8AM (Reply to #3)

Hunter

Redhead

Oh ...I have a sharp tongue,and quick wit. I gave it to him, left right, back and forth, insult to injury. The truth hurts and they dont like it! He coundnt keep up, he gave himself praise and glory told me he could have ten women if he wanted! Please, I told him "who do you think you're talking to"? Sorry buddy , as I told Tova, they me hot stuff(well hers is) but we are Hot stuff too and with a heart! screw them! Little Fucking Gnome! Hunter

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