SURVIVAL

Somehow you keep diving into the riptide and swirling and swirling around half trying to get out and half trying not to drown. You avoid the inevitable pain by staying in and letting it sweep you away mercilessly.

Then a day comes (for me it was the final unmasking...finding the proof that the cheating was real) and you find that you have strength you never knew you had.

You finally fight like hell to get out. You crawl up to the shore still huffing and puffing and barely able to catch your breath.

But you're out!! And every day you feel you can breathe just a little easier..sure, it hurts like hell with every damn breath, but you are breathing.

You have many days where you still feel the gulping of the water, the current pulling you down, the helplessness and hopelessness of being in it's grips...of being utterly powerless. Those days WILL happen.

But as you persist you will continue to gain strength...in tiny baby steps. You WILL get frustrated that it's not happening fast enough...You will get mad as fucking hell but then bam.....

One day you wake up and it feels WONDERFUL to breathe again. You can see how beautiful the water is and the sun glistening off of it's reflection. You can hear the birds singing and see the sandcastles in the sand.

You are back in the world. You have your sanity. You can laugh again. You can love again. You can hope again.

You survived.