SUPPORT

I have been on this forum now for I am thinking roughly 7 months. I have watched people come and go. I have read many posts over these months, and I find myself every so often finding a post that disappoints me when I read it. Not disappointment in the person posting it on a personal level, but disappointment in the context and the attitude. This forum is a place where we come to "heal". Honestly, it is to "heal". Some times we can throw little things out there to make it humorous, to bring a laugh to someone's day, a smile to their face, get them to forget, if only for 1 minute why they are on here to begin with. But, other than that, this is serious business, and healing is first and foremost.

Can I stress, especially to the new members, as I have to many whom I have helped in one way or another, the advice that you are given here is NEVER in malice. It hurts me to see that it is sometimes taken that way. In order to heal, you need to be able to receive constructive criticism, and you need to be honest not only with yourself, but in your posts. Without putting it out there completely or honestly, you will never be able to receive the messages that are meant for you and your personal situation for your recovery to be timeless and precise. This is of the utmost importance. I can not stress that enough. Now, with honesty, we all know, we are going to receive honesty in return, again, this is needed for your recovery. You may not always like what is being said to you, you may take it as a personal attack on you, some will even feel like the person giving the support is actually against them, an enemy. That can not be further from the truth. Anyone who feels that way, please sit back, relax, reflect on the subject at hand and ask yourself what support is. The true meaning of "support". Support is not enabling, support is someone who cares enough to go the extra mile to be truthful with you, to tell you how it is, to want or demand more of you when you yourself can't seem to manage it yourself.

The moderators on here have absolutely nothing to gain by being here. They do not collect a wage for their time, this is not a mandatory assignment they must complete, this is simply them, giving of themselves to help so many people in the world that have been victimized or targeted by an NPD. They are one of us. the same in every way imaginable. They are cut from the same cloth we are, they are the same targeted person that we are, they feel empathy for others, love and friendship for others, they feel a strong desire to want to help. Period. They are one of us, that now possesses the tools and experience needed to guide us through our journey of healing. And they do a wonderful job of it. There is always 1 - 3 Mods on at a time, constantly helping, constantly reaching out, to absolute strangers I might add. Strangers..............they care enough to want you to heal, they want better for you because they know you deserve it. Sometimes you are not going to like what you hear, but if and when that time comes, remember who they are and what they are doing here. As far as I am concerned, they are unpaid soldiers in a war against the predators that wander the earth seeking to destroy. They are healed, yet stay behind, in the drenches, with us. They don't sign off saying "See ya later, I'm healed, I'm outta here" they stay, they face triggers here unnecessarily, for us. While others come and go.

These are not people to disrespect. They remember all too well what happened to them, and they care enough to help others. And sometimes they just have to be a little tough when you need them to be. It is what it is. They would be doing you a disservice otherwise. remember this, the next time someone with the experience they have gives you "constructive criticism" because it is their honesty and up-frontness when needed that is truly going to carry you through this difficult time. Again, I can not stress enough, the admiration and respect they deserve. Please know they are not personally attacking anyone here. It's just not in them. They are one of us after all!

Smile. Please.