Supergirl's Story

Coping and working with ExN

My exN and I are officemates and started out as friends, We became the best of friends. He was a classic narcissist believing that he was God's gift to women. He had a history of bad breakups and "psycho exes". He eventually told me that he had feelings for me although he had a girlfriend at the time. We were together every single day for 2 years and my world revolved around him. Through out the time, he was saying that I was too emotional, controlling and tried to change him. Although he was the needy one, I tried to change for him but eventually I was D&D'd for another girl who was one of my closest friends. That was 5 months ago, where I found myself utterly confused, distraught and heartbroken. I even though I was going crazy as exN told me I needed to see a shrink and that it was all my fault, that I pushed him away.
He was even angry that I did not want to be friends right after the D&D. (Talk about being crazy!!!)

My exN, his new GF and I work together even after his D&D. I have been NC for 4 months now and its been sheer torture for me to see exN and his OW everyday at the office. They seemed so happy while I pretend not to notice them. Resigning from work is not an option as this is my dream job.

I have to work with the two of them and the whole office knows his "version" about what happened as exN told my collegues that I was just his "friend" and that I was the one who was crazy, running after him, blackmailing him and that I was manipulating him to have a relationship with me. A true Narcissist indeed.

I pretend everyday that I have moved on but the truth is I am still hurting inside. I try not to show it and put up a brave front. I've tried to keep myself busy, going out with friends, travelling and visiting my family. My friends and family have been supportive although they do not know that ex is an N. I've been trying to move on but memories both good and bad keep coming back espcially since I see him everyday at work and even during office parties. I am reminded of all the pain and trauma.

I am hoping one day that with NC,I can look at him and feel nothing. But for now, I try not to engage unless it is about work.