Suicide......

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#1 Apr 28 - 5PM

Anonymous (not verified)

Suicide......

something Foolmeonce and Gullablegull said in recent posts made me think of this......suicide.....
i can't find it right now, but i believe Sandra Brown has said that she believes a third of female suicides are in relationships with pathologicals.....

the psychopath tried to get me to kill myself....many times...he would torture and torment me until i was curled up in a ball weeping....then he would stand over me...and smile...'you're miserable....you can't take it...you should just kill yourself and get it over with'......

i can't tell you how many times he did it....and how much he enjoyed it....it would have been the ultimate in control...to drive someone to suicide...and it would have been the perfect crime...i would have killed me...but would have gotten away with it...and spend the rest of his life talking about his crazy wife who killed herself....

i wonder how many women are murdered every day...driven to suicide by these monsters.......

#2 Apr 29 - 3PM

GhostBuster

Observed a creepy exchange online

A while back I was observing (not participating) a forum thread on another site where a malignant N and a self-diagnosed psychopath (and proud of it) were talking about the benefits of their victims committing suicide. Both admitted they would love it if their victim took her life. It was truly eery and it took a lot to read their comments. This is what they said paraphrased: The N would love for a victim to commit suicide because it would make him feel powerful and confirm to him just how little value she has for herself and confirm his believe that she is worthless. The N said he wouldn't "physically" drive to her to it but that he would immensely enjoy enlisting covert tactics to drive her to suicide through verbal abuse, manipulation, control, stripping her of self esteem, et al. The psychopath took it a step further. He said that emotional and psychological abuse wouldn't be enough for him. And while her committing suicide would make him feel powerful he'd get a bigger high if he could put his hands around her throat and off her himself. My ex N asked me toward the end of our relationship if I have ever considered committing suicide (while I was confulsing uncontrollably from his emotional abuse). He seemed hopeful. And I think it was NLP at work. He hoped I would take his suggestion. When I adamently told him I had never...and would never...consider it, he seemed disappointed. Sick freak. But they all are, right?

#3 Apr 29 - 10PM (Reply to #28)

aceonelady

creepy 2

AceoneladyMy ex N live in the USA and mme in Europe and my sisters in Brazil...When i left him.about 3 months later,he called me i freaked out and he said that he had thought many times about that the best for me would be to kill myself...why wouldn't just go ahead and jump in the lake near my house...i hang up the phone on him...he called again and again,i didn't answered for days and then he called my 2 sisters in Brazil,telling them to check on me i had probably killed myself...and he did that without identifying himself...sick fuck...

Aceonelady

#4 Apr 29 - 7PM (Reply to #24)

Susan32

The will to live

I have to agree. For a Narc, the suicide of one of their victims is an ultimate high. They think they're THAT worth it. In fact, that's why I didn't kill myself. I didn't even attempt it (I lacked the will to do much,including that) There's nothing worse for a Narc than to live, be happy, and rub your happiness in their faces. It would be like enjoying a banquet in front of a man dying from starvation. Give the Narcs a taste of their own medicine. Be smug with them. Treat them like their feelings don't matter. I believe in God and karma working these things out...

#5 Apr 29 - 9PM (Reply to #25)

hope4me

God and karma

Everyone keeps telling me that too, that God and karma will take care of him.. The problem is that I wish it would hurry and happen.

#6 Apr 29 - 10PM (Reply to #26)

nat19

God & Karma

A horrific relationship with an obvious malignant narcissist has ended only two days ago. I never knew about narcissistic people till I found this site on search engine, but it has helped me so much it's untrue. I do believe in God & Karma and already today was thinking just that. I do not wish bad on anyone, but these 'N' people need a taste of their own medicine, I believe they do get it, may take a while but don't loose faith.

#7 Apr 29 - 10PM (Reply to #27)

Barbara (not verified)

nat19

they never get it they are not HUMAN ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#8 Apr 29 - 7AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

suicide...the perfect murder...

i believe he murdered BEN to try to drive me to suicide.and it nearly worked..i came very close...but kept thinking about leaving the others behind in the hands of a monster.....i overheard him telling someone on the phone that he thought i was suicidal...he sounded HOPEFUL...... isn't it ironic that he's the one who was the real SUICIDE...the most drawn out tedious suicide on record...took him 60 miserable years...but he finally got the job done!!

#9 Apr 28 - 6PM

neveragain5

Narcnarc, I cant believe

Narcnarc, I cant believe that you went through that! The N told me a couple of times that his ex told him that she wanted to kill herself. He called her a sociopath. As time went on, I had a picture of just what you said happening to her. It was horrifying knowing that he was the perpetrator and that he had caused her to feel that way. She is now in jail on a felony account for arson of her three properties. I know that she did it, because one of the news articles states that she was on the phone to the insurance companies, while the house was still in flames. I am left wondering how much he had to do with that as well. My stomach turns thinking about their evil.

#10 Apr 28 - 5PM

foolmeonce

Suicide

I really believe mine would have been over the moon had I killed myself. It would have accomplished two important objectives for him - he would have taken it as a sign that he was so magnificent, so incredible that I just could not live without him and more importantly it would have gotten me out of the picture forever. Unfortunately, he has to worry everyday that I don't blow his cover and expose all his dirty secrets (and I have enough to make his life hell!). I love the fact N's are paranoid - he will forever be looking over his shoulder wondering when the bomb will explode.

#11 Apr 28 - 7PM (Reply to #2)

Barbara (not verified)

our suicide is the ultimate win-win for them

the only reason I never killed myself was my children... I talked about it at length with my therapist and she was smart enough not to argue with me or give me platitudes... Sandra Brown, MA does want to hear from anyone who knows of someone who committed suicide because of a pathological. ([email protected]) Dr. Mike Fox in EMOTIONAL RAPE SYNDROME says the reason he wrote that book is because of a female friend who killed herself because of a pathological man. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#12 Apr 28 - 9PM (Reply to #20)

Amazed

They like that "their targets will self-destruct"

I read something,,will try to find it that described how psychopaths target a woman who has a rebellious side or a "self rebellious side" who he feels he could break down,,and watch her self-destruct, in front of the kids, wherever,,again something that is to prove them number 1, however they cannot accept others at all....

#13 Apr 28 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

grossot

suicide

I'm ashamed to say this but bc you guys don't know my identity I will. I didn't kill myself bc I couldn't stand the thought of N being the poor widower for whom everyone felt sorry. Also my self esteem was so low I literally forsaw the paramedics looking over me: the pathetic nut that just wanted attention. In 'My Story' I say its bc of my daughter that I didn't take those pills. That I looked at her picture and thought how could I do that to her? That was only partly true. Idk. Now I'm ashamed that I was thinking of myself like that but in a much better place now realizing just how much of a gift my little one is. My heart goes out to all of you and those not with us anymore who experienced this emotional devaluation. I can't imagine pulling the trigger. Makes me ....oh God...there are no words.... PS: is it true that Ns are prone to suicide in midlife? I've seen conflicting views on that. http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled

#14 Apr 29 - 3AM (Reply to #16)

AnotherPath

Before I knew him in 1996

Before I knew him in 1996 he'd tried to kill himself 4 times. Not sure how hard he tried I think it must have been for attention. He had no supply. So he was incredibly depressed. He even got a mouse as a pet called Benjamin as he was so lonely. Alone with who he is is was what made him want to die. He then spent a week in psychiatric hospital and felt so much better because a few people visited him. With the internet now, there's loads of places for him to get supply, dating sights and fb so I don't think he'll try and kill himself as he's never alone with himself now.

Ending the dance

#15 Apr 29 - 2PM (Reply to #18)

hope4me

suicide

I just remembered back 14 years ago before we got married there was a time I had gotten tired of my ex lying so I broke up with him. He came to my house at 5 am and I told him I was not going back. He then said "I'm leaving, tell my parents I love them." I remember feeling scared thinking WTF??? Is he going to kill himself. Of course that evening he promised to never do it again and I stupidly forgave him. I know now he did that because he had no supply lined up and was not expecting me to leave. I know that because a year earlier he had broke up with me saying he didn't want a relationship but had a new woman a few days later, why at that time was he ok to break up, and when I left him and filed for divorce he didn't mention anything about suicide, why??? because he had the OW already. Sad to think these individuals will go to that lenght to get supply.

#16 Apr 29 - 3PM (Reply to #19)

sanctuary

He had no intention of

He had no intention of hurting himself, only used it to hook you back in. Mine threatened suicide and then "somehow came to my(his) senses before it was too late," but since it was only an act it didn't happen. Someone said that those who really mean it tend to go through with it in some form. Wish he had, it'd been a lot easier!!!

#17 Apr 29 - 6AM (Reply to #17)

quietude (not verified)

mouse?

"He even got a mouse as a pet called Benjamin as he was so lonely..." Err, isn't that what Michael Jackson did?? Sounds like an N copy-cat story! I feel most people who commit suicide sadly, just do it...not talk about it...and are successful. My ex subtly hinted at it when we were separated. Of course, it was to get sympathy. At that point, I didn't really care either way, I was so bitter that everything was focused on HIM HIM HIM...what about the terrible things he's done to me?? Oh ya, that doesn't matter. It's so tragic that some victims may give up on life, understandable after the torment. I'm determined NOT to let my ex win and get anymore satisfaction out of knowing he hurt me. Of course, I can't control what he thinks...he may have twisted everything to absolve himself of any guilt and paint me as the crazy one...who cares, as long as he stays away.

#18 Apr 28 - 10PM (Reply to #14)

Barbara (not verified)

oh heck no

Ns rarely, if ever commit suicide why should they - they're PERFECT!!! It's us that needs to go, in their minds ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#19 Apr 29 - 1PM (Reply to #15)

gullablegull (not verified)

bipoar too

My psychopath is bipolar too. SUPPOSEDLY, there are two times he's considered it..but it was probably for attention. Or to manipulate something or someone.............

#20 Apr 28 - 9PM (Reply to #13)

wallaby (not verified)

Brave of you to share

that information Grossot. I think we all know that at our lowest with the N's we are not ourselves - they take us away from us - they consume our every breath, take up all our "bandwidth", and they crowd out all that is good ...like our children. Please don't beat yourself up about this in case you are. I know it has taken me many years to truly put my children first. I did my best as I have always loved them, like you love your daughter, but for so many years I was just completely taken over with all the N-psycho bullsh** - the brainwashing, the passive-aggressive and undermining envious attacks etc. Only in the last year - and now since finding his forum even more strongly - have I been able to truly act on my deep love and put them first almost all the time. (((hugs))))

#21 Apr 28 - 8PM (Reply to #4)

foolmeonce

Don't think its true

Unfortunately, I don't think Narcs are prone to suicide in midlife - that would mean they are doing something for someone other than themselves (LOL) and that will never happen. But it would be great if that was part of their f'd up brain pattern.

#22 Apr 28 - 10PM (Reply to #5)

Janet

My husband who, now in

My husband who, now in retrospect I see, had MANY cerebral N tendencies. He was not full blown and showed genuine empathy over our 14 "semi sane" years together. He had a psychotic break when he was 41 and committed suicide 7 years later after sinking deeper into madness and depression. (He was in and out of psychiatric hospitals for those 7 years. My second (Somatic) N, whom I met after my husband had been ill for 5 years was so mean. When he D & D me for the last brutal time, after he got me over to his house (that I had moved out of just months before) to tell me he was sleeping with someone else -- then said "you aren't going to hurt yourself are you?" Even through my tears I was like, "um, no hadn't thought of that actually" -- he then emails my sister and writes "You better call Janet, she is going to be very sad tonight, just to warn you..." I believe he wanted me to consider suicide....a low blow knowing that my husband had done that 4 years earlier... Peace. J

Peace. J

#23 Apr 29 - 7AM (Reply to #12)

Barbara (not verified)

no one wants to believe it

Sandra Brown, MA's Institute keeps trying to get the word out - yet people do not WANT to believe it - keep thinking Narcissists are just egomaniacs and Psychopaths are all like Hannibal Lechter. They don't WANT TO GET IT. This is something I will never understand and hope I never do. I remember who much AGONY it caused me - trying to understand how people can rape you mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically - then not care how much pain they caused you; sometimes YEARS of pain I could not live with myself knowing I caused anyone that much pain & suffering... but them - they could care less. They get what they want then they throw you away. HUMANS do not treat others that way. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#24 Apr 29 - 1PM (Reply to #11)

wallaby (not verified)

Janet - What a mo-fo.

He totally WANTED you to suicide - like the others say. WHat a great RUSH for him to have such impact - if you wouldn't oblige at least you could play-act that you were suicidal just for his benefit. That was YOUR PART in his little psychopathic play. How terribly disappointing for him you didn't play your part well - at least you could have given it a try for HIS sake. Selfish of you. Miserable douchebag.

#25 Apr 28 - 11PM (Reply to #6)

neveragain5

Astonishingly, unbelievable

Astonishingly, unbelievable MONSTERS!!! Why isn't this more well-known? Why don't we have the resources?!! You ladies should have NEVER been in this place! And at the hands of THEM?!! They deserve every bad thing that ever happens to them!

#26 Apr 29 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

Scooters Mom

Do victims cheat?

I have been thinking the past couple of days about this. I was in a relationship with him for 11 years and I cheated on him a couple times because I thought that if I found someone else it would make it easier to leave, However it had the opposite effect and I just would get deeper into wanting to please him and make him love me. He never knew about this and I am not proud of the fact that I cheated and it is really messing with my mind. I even find myself saying "maybe I'm the N?" And a lot of other stuff that justifies why he was so cold and sarcastic and just down right mean most of the time. Please tell me what you think because It's making me crazy!

#27 Apr 29 - 2PM (Reply to #8)

enoughalready

scooters mom

Well-I cheated on my husband who's a mild cerebral narcissist, to a somatic narcissist XN lover. Sometimes, I feel I'm a narcissist, but more like an inverted narc. If u considered it cheating when I slept w/ my husband, then yes, I cheated on my XN lover. He did ask me if I slept w/ my husband in the first few months of our relationship, I told him the truth. So- he broke up w/ me for 2 hrs and came back. I rarely slept w/ my husband though during the 5 yrs w/ my XN lover. I was already messed up and vulnerable when I met my XNl. Believe me, I feel way more normal right now than I ever had in 5 yrs.

#28 Apr 29 - 2PM (Reply to #9)

Scooters Mom

Feel normal.

I am with a severely cerebral that has been addicted to porn from day 1 of our relationship. I always felt like he was emotionally unavailable and the sex or lack there of made me feel like I was not desirable. I think I had some weird need to prove to myself that it was not true. I regret it now because it is really messing with my head. I used to tell him all the time that I will never be an airbrushed model or have a perfect body like a porn star. We did not have actually intercourse for the last 9 years of our 11 year relationship as he could not get an erection and he would just ask that i do things while he watch and masturbate. It was emotionally unfulfilling to me. He said that penetration did not matter. That may be true but in the back of my mind I always thought that it was more than that. He took viagra once and said that it didnt do anything for him. I dont want to ramble on, I'm just really stuck on this right now.

#29 Apr 29 - 3PM (Reply to #10)

Barbara (not verified)

NO SUCH THING!

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN INVERTED NARCISSIST!!!!!!!!!!!! You 2 were experiencing the return of your HEALTHY Narcissism!!! http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/07/23/healthy-vs-unhealthy-narcissism ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

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