stuck.......again

Hi everyone,

I was not sure if I should post about this again, because I think I'm making a problem where there is none, but I'm stuck and just need to let this out. I met my narc online, he lived in the US and I live in Europe. After two months he wanted to meet me in person and came over for a weekend. After an on/off long distance relationship that lasted around one year, I realized there was something wrong with him and that I didn't want a relationship with him, so we tried to be friends. A year after meeting him in person, he told me he had found a job near where I lived (this turned out to be one of many lies) and moved to my town, but this time he stayed for 3 months here. When I noticed he was trying to rekindle things with me, I decided I had to end that relationship once and for all. I had not talked to, nor heard from him in 5 months, when he suddenly started hoovering to wish me a happy birthday. That is when I started stalking him online almost weekly, until I found out that he was moving to my town and is now living just a few blocks away from me. He kept sending emails in Nov and Dic, which I stupidly read, but didn't reply to them, until I finally understood -thanks to this forum!!- that I needed to block him, so I blocked him from everywhere possible. It's been 8 months since last time we talked, but I have been real 100% NC (that means no online stalking) for only one month. The problem now is I feel I'm becoming paranoid, I'm afraid of going out, because I could bump into him. The day after Christmas, I saw riding his bike on my street. A few weeks ago, I think I saw him getting in the same train as me, but I'm not sure if it was him, because I got anxious and ran to get into another wagon. At home, I keep my blinds closed. When I go to school, I put my hood on and keep looking if there's someone behind me. When I walk to the bus stop I scan every car parking on my street to see if he's sitting in one of them. If I see a bike in the distance coming towards me, I turn my back to them. I've limited going out to necessary appts only. I feel like I'm creating my own drama in my head. A part of me is telling me to just ignore these feelings and they will eventually fade, but the other part is telling me to pay attention to them. How do I stop feeling uneasy about this? He doesn't even know I know he is here. I've read some horrible stories on this forum about the narcs beating them, stalking them, getting them into legal problems, etc, but mine has done none of that and still I'm afraid of him. I feel pathetic for giving him more power after such a long time. I feel pathetic for being afraid of him and yet, I don't know how to stop it.