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STUCK

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#1 Apr 10 - 5PM
trying2heal
trying2heal's picture

STUCK

I feel so stuck. I can't get past his last email filled with projection and hurting me, after I exposed his 'other life'...yet part of me misses him and just wants to talk to him. I ask myself how sane can I be for missing someone who lied to me, betrayed me, cheated on me, manipulated me, emotionally abused me for a year and then blamed me!

Apr 11 - 8PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

I am going through precisely

I am going through precisely the same mix of emotions. I asked my therapist the other day how I can get past this and she looked at me and bluntly said, "you have to work really hard at it".
Apr 11 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

dont ya hate answers like

dont ya hate answers like that?! I think I hate those kinds of answers because the Narc would always say we needed to "work on things" yet I never knew the details on what we needed to work on or how to go about doing it. I was always like "work on things" WTF does that mean. I felt like saying look Narc I want a detailed and I mean detailed explanation of what that entails LOL I never did get one
Apr 11 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

SOI

LMAO! Yes I hated to hear her say that but she was right! I love this therapist so much but she kicks my ass. She really meant it in a good way I didn't mean to make her sound harsh and if I did I apologize. She really meant that I was going to have to work very hard at not falling into this "romanticizing him" crap when I do fall into it in my head. She was saying I would just have to work very hard against that.
Apr 10 - 8PM
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

The same thing happened to me

The same thing happened to me this weekend. It's been 3 1/2 months since the final d&d...I was reeling from anger and hatred..but it was better than feeling in love with him and missing him. All of the sudden this weekend I remembered how the love felt..surely, it was only my love because he is incapable of love. It was such an intoxicating feeling. I remembered how he would hold me in bed & I could hardly catch my breath from the emotions I felt being close to him. I was in utter shock to be reminiscing about this again! How could it be that I am missing a monster? Then in speaking to another friend who is also "stuck" after going through the same. I said to her: "It just shows that when we fall in love we fall hard and we give everything. We have so much love to give the right person." I reminded her that we are the lucky ones because we can FEEL. They are void. We are like an empty beer can that they threw in the garbage. There's zero emotional connection for them. How sad is that? I'd rather feel!! My friend also reminded me that grieving is a process....a difficult and complicated one. We are still going through so many emotions. So we need to allow ourselves to feel them and get through them with the hope that once we are finally done grieving we will no longer be stuck.
Apr 10 - 5PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Well, you're in good company

Well, you're in good company :-)
Apr 11 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
trying2heal
trying2heal's picture

So painful at times

I tried writing down all the bad stuff on index cards so they stack up. They say the beat thing you can do to a Narc is to ignore them..,.but he betrayed me and ignores me since I exposed him!