struggling to function....

Having a hard day today, struggling to even function on daily tasks and just trying to sit through these over whelming urges to contact him is absolutely killing me. I no he was no good, i understand he isnt capable of loving me but its all just so hard to take in. Especially seeing how he is all happy with his new life, new women, hes joined the gym, hes tanned looking great... And im feeling so drained and abandoned. I only know how well he is doing as i see the front he puts on when coming to collect our boy. This is so hard, i just have to sit through these feelings and hope soon they will pass, feel like ive lost all motivation to fEel better today! Im so tired just wish i could go to sleep and wake up and it all be over!!

Hope everyone else is being strong and positive! I understand i have to take each day as it comes and not back track any more. This is it now ive got to move forward.... Xx