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Struggling- exN always seems to have it all

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#1 Nov 28 - 4PM
herlatestvictim
herlatestvictim's picture

Struggling- exN always seems to have it all

I am struggling with knowing that this asshole continues to get everything she wants. EVERYTHING! She became this way by being completely spoiled... and now, as an adult, she is still given everything she wants by her parents. They just bought her a home. 3 lovely bedrooms for her and her g/f (yes, lesbians) to live in. So, she has a g/f, I am all alone in the world. She has a home, I rent a hole in the wall. She has a family who gives her everything, I have a family that I have to hold together.

So here is my tantrum: Why? Why? Why? It's not fair. I don't want her (anymore). I see her for what she is. I can't reconcile the fact that she is a monster but has it all while I have nothing. It breaks my heart everyday.

Nov 29 - 3PM
spinning
spinning's picture

HerLatest, please consider

changing the script. Where you focus your thoughts becomes your reality. Every single thought has energy and power. When you say "I have nothing" you perpetuate that thought into the universe and therefore you continue the chain of "nothing" that you expect. If you focus on the "fact the fact that she is a monster but has it all while you have nothing" knowing that it breaks your heart every day, well, then your heart will be broken every day. Who gives a rat's ass about her, her house, her family, whatever the F*^k she's using to fill the gaping black hole that is inside of her. Let's concentrate on filling your soul, filling your life with the blessings and joy that you deserve and desire. Do this by looking for them. They will appear. You will notice how much you have right away. Just try it, Her Latest! Try to write down something you are grateful for every single day. Try to do one thing that makes YOU feel good every single day. Every time she crops up in your thoughts, kick her out. Tell her she is not welcome, that you no longer have room for that darkness in your head and heart...What the heck, Her Latest, just trying these things couldn't hurt...right? I know for me it was a forced, concerted, committed effort but SO WORTH WHILE. I barely even think of Freak Boy and when I do it is with extreme repulsion and even some pity. The monster is dead and I'm all about the great adventure of life these days. I hope this helps some, HerLatest. Keep reading, keep venting, keep striving...shift the focus onto what you want and desire, onto the good things in your life and about yourself and off of the dark one and see what happens. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. IT'S A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE ME

spinning

Nov 28 - 5PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Well, from where I am

Well, from where I am sitting, she doesn't have it all. She has material objects..........you have a soul. Material objects DO NOT bring happiness nor contentment. Your in a much better place. Besides, she can't take any of it with her when she dies, but you, you get to take it all with you!
Nov 28 - 5PM
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

Taking advantage of people

Taking advantage of people for financial gain- classic narc behavior! Yes, her living standard is better than yours. The difference is that you can hold your head up highand look yourself in the eye knowing that you are a fabulous woman who's doing it all for herself. You would never use someone for $$$. I'd much rather hang put with you in your hovel than that sociopath in her glamourous little house, paid for by mom and dad. She may have a nice place, but no one respects the way she got it.
Nov 28 - 5PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

She doesn't have you. ;) And

She doesn't have you. ;) And yes, it sucks that it would seem from the outside that these people 'get everything they want,' but truly...they don't. They don't have a love for themselves, which is what creates the disorder. They are typically very jealous, insecure people...so, while it seems on the outside, they have 'it all,' they have nothing I want.
Nov 28 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Diedre is correct. She

Diedre is correct. She doesn't have you. In addition, as she grows older, she will have less and less in life. Narcs are well known for being alone in their old age, and they are usually financial idiots. They've spent their entire lives hurting, using, and pissing people off. Eventually, the narc is going to run out of new sources of supply. Old, nasty, abusive people are not able to manipulate NS with quite the same effectiveness as a pretty, young thing. Especially, old, nasty, abusive people that have a life-time reputation for their behaviors. As for the narc's parents providing her with everything, well her parents will die at some point. That "gravy train" will come to an abrupt end, and the narc will NOT be prepared for surviving without their help. Xnh's "beloved" mommy is currently over 70 years old and has multiple sclerosis. She's deteriorating quickly. When she's gone, xnh is going to be in for an abrupt, rude shock about reality. His mommy has been handing him money hand-over-fist for years. Xnh is so socially retarded that he couldn't even manage to buy a new couch for his apartment after he dumped me. He ran home to "Mommy's Furniture Store Of The Golden Wallet". Xnh is almost 50 years old. His mommy may have been xnh's personal deep pocket for years. However, I'm absolutely positive that when she's gone his step-father is NOT going to by quite so free with handing over buckets of money he's made, just to pad the diapers of his wife's four lazy, over-indulged, spoiled "children", including xnh. Personally, I consider myself much better off than xnh. I've taken care of myself and stood on my own two feet financially since I graduated from high school. I KNOW how to manage my own finances. Xnh will be over 50 years old, and he can't even manage to budget enough to get his own furniture (or last I heard, buy all of his own groceries). Xnh's mommy is apparently bringing boxes of food 500 miles (one way) every few months so that xnh and his "children" don't starve. Incidentally, xnh's "children" are now 19 and 22 years old. The oldest one lives with xnh on welfare with her baby by her gang boyfriend. She has a drug problem. Neither xnh or either of his "children" have a single clue about what is meant by "living within your means". Xnh just bought an over-priced home in a fancy neighborhood, he's traded cars four times, bought a new expensive motorcycle, a band trailer, and three all-terrain vehicles since the divorce (1.5 years ago). He's running around spending about as fast as a raped ape getting his "toys"...but mommy still brings him groceries. Nope, I don't envy xnh at all. I may be poorer financially than he is, but I'm so richer in SO MANY ways. I love others, and I'm happy with myself. I really LIKE me. When I lose my parents, I will be VERY sad. However, I WON'T be still expecting mommy to buy me a couch or my groceries. We may not being seeing it right now with the narcs, and it may look (on the surface) like they're getting everything. However, I firmly believe that they'll eventually get their "poetic justice". They'll end up old and alone. Huge hugs.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 28 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Seeing an aged Narc...

And since the ex-Psych is in New Mexico like your ex-Narc.... what the heck... I work in a nursing home. Granted, I'm not in oodles of $$$. Speaking of aging Narcs, there is an elderly couple in my nursing home. They're both vegetarians (the ex-P claimed to be a vegetarian, or he ate meatless around me), they'll be affectionate with each other, they're both in wheelchairs. Sometimes, they look like the cute old couple. But not all the time. The aged husband will harass his wife;he's been known to be violent to her, other residents, and CNAs. He'll harass his wife when she tries to take a nap. He won't leave her alone when she wants to be left alone. Not a pretty sight. NPDs don't age gracefully.
Nov 28 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I doubt you have nothing?? If

I doubt you have nothing?? If this is the case then who is to blame?? Sounds like depending on your folks amounts to nothing.. Hunter
Nov 28 - 5PM
needing2know
needing2know's picture

Sweetie, mommy and daddy are

Sweetie, mommy and daddy are not gonna live forever, then what is she gonna do? They are NOT as HAPPY as they MAKE other believe! This new girl will get the same thing you did, don't forget that, it's only a matter of time!
Nov 28 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Mommy and Daddy

I remember being devastated when I read that the ex-Psych prof had married&had kids with his girlfriend (he married her after she gave birth)... and that his parents had moved in to raise his kids. Now his parents have moved in with the ex-P for good. Turns out his Mommy and Daddy replaced me, NOT his girlfriend!