Struggling and missing him

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#1 Jan 9 - 3PM
RubyWoo's picture

Struggling and missing him

Just thought I'd post here because I'm really missing him today. Miss having him around, seeing his face, cuddling on his arms. I miss coming home and kissing him and talking about our days.

I have been doing ok for the last 3 months but somehow it's so much harder tonight... :(

Jan 9 - 8PM
Freedom101's picture

I just remind myself I don't

I just remind myself I don't miss that awful anxiety. I can sleep and eat again and concentrate on those in my life who are important to me. You're feeling the anxiety of withdrawal which will eventually go away. The withdrawals come back every now and again, but like someone said, this too shall pass. Call him up and get instant anxiety. Who wants that again.
Jan 9 - 6PM
rosedewittbukater's picture


This too shall pass. I can reiterate what others have said and break out that list of what you don't miss. I know this has happened with me too. You get to missing "pretend guy" and remembering the "crumbs" or the "bones" they threw us now and again but we have to remember how dearly we paid for those crumbs! Stay strong. xx, Rose
Jan 9 - 4PM
TNR1's picture

Ruby....It's fine to miss

Ruby....It's fine to miss things about someone..but you also have to consider the things you do NOT miss. Now which list is longer?? I'm betting the one with the things you do not miss. Use that to help you stay strong. BTW...I miss kissing, flirting and having sex with Mr. N. The problem is that we can't have what we want without also accepting those things that we don't want that led us here. I don't miss walking on eggshells, feeling like I'm an object, having the whole conversation be about him, worrying how many other girls he is having sex with without protection and having him leave after sex or fall asleep and not cuddle with me. So you can see which list is longer and it helps me to not miss him so much.
Jan 9 - 4PM
janemarie's picture

You're missing the "idea" of

You're missing the "idea" of him......NOT HIM...remember that!! It's ok to miss all of that, we all do, but just realize that it's not HIM you are missing!!! Tomorrow is another day!!!
Jan 9 - 4PM
GeorgiaGirl's picture

Make a list...

include every single nasty, narc, back-stabbing, gaslighting, triangulating thing that he EVER did to you, your friends, your family, your dog, etc. EVERY SINGLE THING! I guarantee you won't be missing him by about #20. Hugs, I know it sucks
Jan 9 - 4PM
foolnomore's picture

Hang in there!

Be strong and don't cave! Call a friend, work out, go shopping, watch TV, read a book, re-read some of the posts on this website. 3 months of NC is awesome, keep it up!
Jan 9 - 4PM
peachesn's picture

Don't you just hate it when

Don't you just hate it when things are going really well and then, boom! You're feeling low again. Aww, I know how that feels all too well...sounds like you miss a lot of the 'little' things in a relationship... So my question for you is, what can you do to comfort and take care of yourself? How can you give yourself hugs and tlc? Is a luxurious bubble bath? Indulging in some chocolate? Having a girl's night? Or maybe just crying it out. No matter how low you're feeling, remember how brilliantly you've been doing and how much stronger you've become. Hang in there :) xx
Jan 9 - 4PM
Hunter's picture

It's hard because contact =

It's hard because contact = Pain.. I'm sorry.. Just work thru it.. I saw " Girl with a Dragon Tatto "" see it ... Sweet Revenge!!! My point do something to distract yourself.. You can't go back .. You just can't. Hunter
Jan 9 - 3PM
Healingslowly_but getting there's picture


I know exactly how you are feeling Ruby. But you can get through this. You know that he is not the man you are remembering and that as soon as you open the door to him, he will return to the awful man he really is. You have done sooooooooo well. Keep strong lovely lady and take one day at a time.