Like a stranger...

I haven't quite psyched myself up to writing my story yet, but it involves a long-distance relationship that he decided had no potential, but at his request we remained 'friends'.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else has come to a point where they suddenly feel like they don't know the N anymore. I've been NC for 5 and a half weeks, but prior to that when we did chat, it was like he was no longer the same man I visited in the USA and who I wrote stories for, exchanged long emails with, chatted with etc. The conversations became so one-sided (him asking questions, me talking, but him not really following up on things). He was full of excuses for never replying to emails (when he had phoned me and asked me to keep emailing). He randomly started saying he'd welcome another visit (after not writing back for 6 weeks!). He got irrationally angry when I talked about how his getting a new girlfriend just 8 weeks after I visited (at the time he said he wasn't over his ex-wife enough and that was why he didn't want to be with me, but was really sweet and affectionate at my 'understanding'). Even when I tried to smooth things over, he kept saying "What's wrong with you?", telling me that finding problems where they dont' exist was my least attractive quality and asking why I was "Making everything so terrible". It was like talking to an angry child. I tried to explain I was just clearing the air and hoped enough time had gone by we could start again as friends, but he wouldn't listen. I suggested that maybe women like to discuss stuff more than men and he was like "Stop that! That's not true either". He said he hoped I appreciated that he hadn't mentioned his fetish and I said I thought we should leave it to one side and get to know each other again as friends, and his reaction was "If you say so...I thought this was all going so well till 5 mins ago"

Since then I just realise he tried to message me (but fortunately I only just found the messages) and was randomly saying "good morning...please come say hi if you're there"a few weeks ago. A random thing that could have been said to anyone. At a time he must have known I'd be at work and not online. Does he really think it takes so little effort and thought when we have known each other for two years?

It is really hard to articulate this, but it is like there came a point when we fell out and ever since we've tried to be friends since, it feels like his mask has slipped. Like he doesn't know me like he used to and there is no engagement. Even when we do talk his conversation is so empty and shallow. I suppose in a sense I feel even more insulted that he has become this parody of himself and thinks I am so gullible. Has anyone else suddenly looked at their N and realised he isn't the person you thought / he used to be?

I wonder if it is as we have been out of touch on and off. Have I just got stronger or is it that he has 'forgotten' me and how to play me. It sucks and I wish now I'd just walked away before it got to this - then I'd have just eventually had happy memories and seen it as any other case of unrequited love.