Still triggering

Darn it...triggered on Friday and I can't seem to shake them off. I want email him and say hi, to keep the "door" open. I miss the excitement I had with him. I want the high of hearing from him in a sweet way. I know these feelings will pass, I had been doing good with NC and getting stronger. I know I will have weak moments as I am early in healing process, and this is one of those low moments, and i think i pms too. Every time i pms i historically got i impulsive with exN, ie texting, getting emotional, etc. i know i have to break the cycle. i know i will get through this , i owe it to myself and my family to let this shit go. I just coming here to vent my feelings so I don't break NC. Thanks for listening again.