Still not able to accept how cruel they can be...

As I've mentioned before, I am in my 2nd trimester from a relationship I had with a Narc. I managed to finally get away from him. I know I will never be in a relationship with him except to co-parent (if necessary).

am still having trouble accepting that another person can be so uncaring and selfish. I know he was abusive and that I deserve much better. However, being pregnant with his child and knowing that he does not care in the slightest still hurts.

It hurts that he doesn't call to ask about his child. It hurts that I know he is off living his life and I am stuck here with morning sickness and uterine pains. I am the one having to scramble to figure out how to pay for this child. Me. Not him. I don't want to be with him or anything. It's only this pain and hurt that I feel that I can't seem to let go of. It hurts so much.

I want to be able to be full of Joy that I got away. How can I get there?