Still hurts sometimes

I'm 2 years out next month and doing great really. I think what happened to me with the narc will always be with me somehow and when I think if it , I just have a little wave of pain wash over me but nothing like the tidal wave of pain I used to feel all the time. It's more a sad feeling mixed with a little anger and then quickly it turns into relief that I'm not anywhere near him anymore.
I'm in a relationship now with a lovely, kind, quiet hardworking man. I really struggled to trust him and the poor guy has had to listen to a load of reasons as to why I'm not good enough for him or why we will not work out. The more he has said nice things to me, the more I have pushed him away not believing what he says. My counsellor told me to just take one day at a time and that not all men are like the narc.
This guy doesn't love bomb me, doesn't declare undying love all the time, doesn't send flowers or make grand gestures constantly, doesn't write all over fb about how in love with me he is for all the world to see, in fact he's not on fb, he doesn't idealise me.....
He also doesn't call me names though , or shout in my face, or move things to make me think I'm crazy, or tell me I'm pathetic, or abuse me.
He's normal and after my relationship with the narc this is taking some getting used to. When he does nice things and I look puzzled.... He just takes my hand and understands and reassures me. He knows what the narc did and how this affects me.
The other day I went for a pedicure and his guy was meeting me afterwards. I decided to have my eyebrows waxed whilst I was there and this was going to take another 15 mins and so I text him to tell him that i would be a bit longer and this wave of fear came over me. The narc would have gone crazy that I had made him wait and I would have been punished for making a decision without him. That feeling came back as I sent the text and it was awful, it really made me feel sick and scared.
I got back ' hey, take your time and enjoy.... I'm just downstairs having a coffee and reading the paper, looking forward to taking you for lunch.' .......
It's really taking time to get used to how normal people react to things. Even writing this made me feel that fear feeling I used to get from him.
I had another horrid memory the other day whilst I was waiting to pick the boys up from school about a situation with the narc where I was called disgusting and a waste of a human body - it was to do with having to pick my son up from a party very shortly after narcs mother had cooked us a meal and how rude I was for nipping out in the car to collect him!!! I sat and it came to mind, the awful words and the look on his face (I'm in tears just writing this remembering his cruelty). I then though how the guy I'm seeing now would react. He would just say something like ' you stay here and I'll go and get him, wont be long' and it wouldn't even be a drama!!
I guess what I'm trying to talk about in this post is that not everyone is horrible, the narc experience will make us very wary and probably affect our future relationships but give yourself a break and allow yourself to heal as I am.
The reality of what happened to me is still hitting me but it just makes me more and more grateful that I'm not involved with such a horrific, ill man anymore.
If you are out then stay out and stay NC, it's the only way to get through this journey, your head has enough to deal with recovering from him without actually having any contact with him and adding to it.
Big hugs everyone x