Sticking points

I've come to realise I had two sticking points that I seem to have beaten recently, which I think have helped a lot in moving on from the narc. The sticking points were:

1. The notion that I am in some way responsible for turning the good person I first met into the bad narc, and that if only I had not done whatever it was I did, that this outcome would never have happened.

2. The notion that, in the present day, if I could find the right buttons to press, the right words to say, the right actions to take, that I could somehow undo what happened and revert the bad narc back into the good person I first knew.

More recently I've come to realise that, being a narc, he was always going to have dropped his mask sooner or later, and that the good person at the start never existed. In which case, the first notion is wrong. Nothing I could have done would have made any difference.

Also, since the good person never existed and was just a mask, in the present day I will only ever see that person when the narc chooses to wear his mask again. Every time he wears that mask, inevitably somewhere along the way he'll drop it again, and I'll be left with the bad narc who abuses me. So once again, nothing I do will make any difference. The second notion is also wrong.

So in summary, I did all I could and nothing else would have made, or ever will make any difference.

Now I've accepted that, things seem a lot easier.