Spinning today

After receiving the email

As you dont seem bothered lets leave it there..

Nine words have the ability to spin so I am letting it out here hoping by typing it, it will stop whirring in my mind.

D let me tell you about 'dont seem bothered'. You have hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me in my life. From the hurtful comments about the way I look, the mind games which resulted in me feeling unworthy, jealous, like a 'non person' to the silent treatment where I often begged while you laughed at me. I am on anti depressants and starting intensive counselling next week. I dont blame you for my past issues but I will never understand how you could have been so uncaring, mean, nasty and vindictive to me and seemingly enjoy my downfall.

After giving me the silent treatment AGAIN you expect that by sending the above 9 word email I will beg?

You really are the cruelest person I know.

I dont hate you I feel upset and sad .

11 days NC today and I hope that speaks volumes to you.