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neverlookback's picture

What distinguishes a psychopath who commits murder from one who doesn’t isn’t his conscience, since all psychopaths lack it. What makes the difference may be nothing more than his desires, opportunities, whims and short-term objectives. Most psychopaths choose to dispose of an inconvenient wife or girlfriend in the traditional manner. They divorce or break up with her. A few, like Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking and Neil Entwistle, decide that murder is the better route for them. Such men believe that they’re clever enough to fool the police and get away with their crimes. They commit murder to appear to be grieving spouses rather than risk being unmasked for what they really are even before the crimes: empty souls hiding behind a façade of lies. What a psychopath is capable of doing in order to protect his phony good image or to fulfill his deviant desires can’t be predicted in advance.
For normal people, it’s difficult to imagine such a disordered human being. To most of us, the psychopath represents a distant danger or an abstraction. It’s a concept we can comprehend intellectually, but not on an emotional level. Yet this is precisely what Martha Stout asks us to envision: “Imagine—if you can—not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you have taken…” (The Sociopath Next Door, 1) Her conclusion to this thought exercise is quite clear. Without a conscience, one can do anything at all. No evil act is beneath a psychopath. Once his crime is discovered, people tend to say that they never knew such evil existed. Unfortunately, it does. What’s worse, it’s common and well hidden enough to present a danger to us all.
Dr. Robert Hare, author of Without Conscience, Snakes in Suits and of thePsychopathy Checklist, which is administered in prisons and psychiatric institutions, estimates that about 1 percent of the population is psychopathic. Because this personality disorder ties into aggression and the need for dominance, the percentage tends to be higher in men than in women. What do psychopaths look like? They look, and superficially even behave, just like the rest of us. They come from every social class, every race, every ethnicity, every nationality, every kind of background and upbringing. They tend to be smarter than average. Some become successful businessmen, lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists, writers, teachers, artists and scholars. They can be exceptionally charming. They say all the right things to get what they want, without fumbling or sounding artificial. Lacking any real emotional ties to preoccupy them, they’re easily bored and crave constant excitement. Having no conscience yet being glib, they’re compelling pathological liars. They rationalize everything they do, including rape and murder. Consequently, they fail to accept responsibility for anything they do wrong. Since they know no loyalty to anything or anyone but themselves, they don’t play by any rules. Like the Joker in the blockbuster movie, The Dark Knight, they don’t even bond with other outlaws. Even that would require having some loyalty and abiding by some subversive principles. Psychopaths, however, are rebels without a cause. Once they reach adulthood, their character solidifies and their personality disorder becomes unfixable.

Scoop's picture
Its not since i have been out
Its not since i have been out of the relationship and have been NC do i really get how much danger i was in , i mean phsycal danger , the night when he attacked me could have turned really bad , he could have killed me , he had lost his mind at the point of attack and i was so lucky to come away with just brusis .Couple his need for controle and dominance with his violent temper if i had stayed with him i dont know if i would be here today . Now if you personaly have money or have a life insurence policy in youre name and you are with a suspected psycopath that is NO JOKE luckly we where not married and he wouldnt have been intitled to anything i have . Narcs have zero loyalty which is almost impossible to get youre head round , no senterment and no emotion . .. its sooo scary .. x
victimnomore's picture
Yes neverlookback
Yes neverlookback what you write is so true, See I have been married to a psychopath for 25 years. When I say this I literally mean it. My N/P H is everything that you describe in your post. He has committed 2 murders, got off on one and did time for one with no remorse. I have never seen him have remorse for this. He blames everyone else or the "circumstances". If you saw him you would never guess that he has such a past. he cleaned himself up, went to school (is very intelligent and very crazy) has a good profession and fools everyone that does not know about his past. I know all too well what he is capable of and I struggle everyday to stay away from him. I have been NC for 6 months. actually I do not have the desire to contact him but I carry a lot of guilt for even being with someone like this. My therapist told me today that there is trauma bonding that happened way back when i first met him. He was a master at this game long before I met him and we were very young when we met. I am just dealing with why i really was not afraid of him even though I knew/know what he is capable of. I am just now beginning to see how dangerous he really is no matter how many suits and 500 dollar shoes he wears, how well put together he look, I am married to a psychopath and I think the only reason he didn't kill me is because he would have been the first and only suspect. I truly believe that he knew that he would not get away with it but I know that he wanted to kill me plenty of times. He would get so angry and drive like he really just wanted to kill us both. If I wrote a book about my life with him I don't think anybody would believe my story. My therapist is left speechless every week because I decided to tell her everything. All of my secrets about living with him (I have never told anyone everything). I don't know how I survived this long but the thing is that I now find my recovery soooo hard and most times just want to give up but i have children that I love and he is not worth my life. I felt like a deflated balloon with him, just so far down in the rabbit hole with no way out. He is so calculating and vindictive that I feel like I am in hiding because I literally watch over my shoulder every time i leave my house because i do not trust him. He owns an illegal gun and use to love to pull it out. (said it was not for me but for the police when they come) Yet he go to work everyday dressed and looking like a normal, professional man. My therapist told me to be aware because I was his rock and anchor for 25 years but now that I am gone who knows when his world will fall apart.( I did absolutely everything for him ) So yeah I know first hand about psychopaths! And thats just the tip of the iceberg!


IncognitoBurrito's picture
Thank you
I can never read enough of this sort of thing! I find it immensely fascinating. The ColdCaseFiles, Murder Mystery shows... all of it, more, more, more.
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
NO!!! Peace, Love, Cold case files, murder mysteries...the Jeffry Dahmer Special...NO!!! Fill the vessel with are our thoughts! LOL just messin witcha!