So this is what rock bottom feels like...

When a psychopath gets wind of a good hunk of supply comming his way he will puff up like a baloon . When you screamed down the phone as he took his stuff away you where having a normal reaction , what is abnormal is the reaction the narc would have to that . You where totaly right not to have met him because i think he would have dumped you again , they get off with the carrot and the stick move . My narc would ask me repeatedly to his house when he dumped me (6 times) and he would put on this kind voise on the phone and say "i really miss you baby" and i would get there and he would say "i really love you but we have to break up " and what he did was stand back and watch the fireworks he had set off , I would cry my eyes out and he would be jumping around with glee , like the cat that got the cream ... NO CONTACT ! as you say he has made his decision when he got his stuff , any more from you now will just be playing into his control game ... and you are in control here , you are with the girlfriends on the board and we are willing you to stop the contact . Do not entertain him . If he is real then he will move a mountain to seek youre forgivness ,untill that mountain is moved DO NOTHING !!! No contact . Scoop x

Ruby: It stinks to be going through all of this. If you can step back for a moment and look at this in a very rational way, it seems that this man is a drama queen. "Normal" men who wish to end a relationship with a woman would calmly sit down and explain that the relationship is not working and how he is feeling. He would wait to hear your responses and be very respectful. You both would then try to figure out how this can be done with regard to your shared home, dividing personal belongings and really getting a game plan together that works for the both of you. His wishy-washy, abusive manner tells me he is probably a narcissist who gets off in seeing you react to his emotional abuse. This is called, "Narcissistic supply," something all N's need from someone to feel important (while emotionally degrading another- sick. Can you imagine setting him aside, having no contact, and focusing on you and your ill father who needs you right now? You do not deserve to be treated this way by anyone. Reach down in your heart, pray and ask yourself if you deserve to be treated so badly? You deserve, like all of us, to be treated with respect and love, and have a significant other who comes to your aid with open arms when you are grieving over the impending death of your father. Nothing less than this is acceptable. Please keep yourself away from this self-destructive man who gets off in his drama. Someone else is out there who will see your inner and outer beauty and treat you like the princess you are! Hang in there and give your dad a huge hug.

DO NOT CALL HIM! Exactly what Hunter said, I second that motion.......... stay clear from the loser! Stay strong!

@ Ruby Woo For some reason I am seeing so many EX N qualities in the descriptions of other members situations He is fucking with you Ruby! Cut him off! go NC for 7 days - just try to disengage for a week Ruby! He doesn't care about you, he is being wishy washy and messing with your head! Do not be at his beck and call if he left you CUT HIM OFF AND NOW Ignore all his text for 7 days, let him get a taste of life without you. sorry it hurts so much hang in there try to go NC!

He's fucking "CRAZY" and will make you crazy in the process. Do not, I repeat Do not talk to him again! Do you hear me????? I hate these Fuckers!! WTF, is right! You can't win, you can't get back what you once had! Again, He's CRAZY!! Pay now to freedom later! Hunter

Hey Ruby, Sorry to hear what you are going through, we have all been there. In regards to your question, is he an N?? You are on this site so I guess he must portray at least some Narc tendencies. If I had yelled and screamed at my Narc like you did he would have turned it all back on to me. Everything was my fault, and if I ever called him out he would deal me a barrage of abuse. I am not sure if this was just him being an extremely abusive personality or qualities of a Narc, as a lot of girls on here have ex N's like yours who chase and plead...to me this isn't really Narc like, they have too much pride and work in more subtle ways. I know that my ex is 100% Narc, for years I thought he had a split personality. My ex did the same to me about 5 times in 5 years. "I don't want to be in a serious relationship." "I want to be on my own." etc etc. Each time more heart breaking because I would always take him back. Is this the first time he has done this to you? It is enough to send you insane, doubt yourself, and your self esteem. Take it from someone who has heard this speech countless times throughout my relationship, they don't change. He will keep reeling you in and then leaving you until you put an end to it. I was sick of being dumped and chased all the time, I ended it this time. You deserve so much better than to be with someone who doesn't even know if he wants to be with you. Think about that for a minute. He is calling the shots and now you laid down the law, so he is freaking out. Maybe he feels if he completely closes the door he may not be able to open it if he can't find intimacy elsewhere...harsh, but so true. This is a classic Narc move, they can never be alone and unless they have something else to go to they will always be uncertain. I think now is the time to put his decision to the side and think about what you want. You know what you want, so don't you deserve to be with someone who does too? Focus on your own life, don't beg and plead...this is what he wants, it is all about the ego. Start taking mini steps, go no contact, don't engage. To completely rid yourself of the Narc it is up to you to stop the game....otherwise your life will continue to go around in circles like a washing machine on spin cycle. Rinse, lather, repeat.....this was my life for 5 years and even though it sucks and hurts like hell...at least someone is not sending me insane anymore. I have ownership over my feelings now.

So sorry to see what you are going through. There is a reason you are on this site. Just imagine how wonderful and peaceful your life will be once he's really gone. For now, count your blessings: You have your parents and all of us here to lean on, and maybe even a good friend or two where you are. Try to sleep and feel loved.