Slap across the face

Ok I'm really ashamed to admit that I am really, really struggling ATM, missing the illusion of my husband and longing so much for the man I thought he was.. The void of affection and passion he once gave me... Is what I miss.

I'm still waiting for my heart to catch up with my head, and I pray this happens soon..

I remembered a member posting once about punching yourself in the face when you feel like this!
I couldn't quite bring myself to do that, BUT I did just slap myself hard across the face!

And it bloody hurt, but I think it only hurt half as much as it would have if I had of contacted him and start the dance all over again...

Whatever it takes, I guess!