I have been a member for a little over a year now (I thought it was longer...felt longer, lol) and it's taken me all this time to realize that neither myself nor my N is any different than anyone else. Up until now I felt a need to try to pick apart some of the wonderful people from this site and get to the bottom of why my N could not change. Well no matter how special you think you are to your N....you are not. You are only special to your creator and these Narcs think they are God, lol...but they are the total opposite of God and desperate in all their actions.
I often used to wonder why some of the Mods welcome would be a paragraph or more and another Mod would say in a few words "welcome, same story, read, read, read". Well I am here to say that for some of us ... stepping back from the drama and reading (along with repeated abuse from our abuser) will eventually wear us down to the point where all we are left with are the facts. Sometimes we don't see the cycle of abuse until we step away from it and see it for what it is.
I am still under a lot of fog and am so addicted that I know I can't make this journey of healing alone. I need the experience, guidance and advice from those who know what they are talking about. This is not a game nor some casual love affair gone wrong...we are talking about evil in its true form desperate to do what it takes to steal, kill, divide, confuse, devour, conquer and always control. If you think for one minute that you are control and can equip yourself with any amount of knowledge and take on the giant alone....you're are only fooling yourself. We all need help and I'm not too proud to admit that.