Sisterhood and the OW...?

I didn't know the ex-Psych prof already had a girlfriend. He NEVER mentioned or acknowledged her... till he flaunted her after a friend of mine died. I felt TERRIBLE for her, not just for myself. The ex-P coldly said "It shouldn't matter to you that I already have a girlfriend" and this was after I had declared my love to him, then met HER. The ex-P didn't introduce his girlfriend to his colleagues when he flaunted her. When I had a nice conversation with her... he went running down the stairs, and when she saw he was gone, she went running after him. It seemed like they were arguing their way down the stairs. The ex-P wasn't affectionate with his girlfriend;now I was a student, the fact he&I didn't get physical-well, we stayed within bounds. But the fact he didn't hold his girlfriend's hand, didn't kiss her, didn't put his arm around her shoulders... THAT angered me. The ex-P wanted to triangulate me against his girlfriend... and I called him out and TAUNTED him on it, saying,"I know you want her&I to wrestle in the mud pits at the upper dorms. I know it turns you on." In other words, I opened the gates of Hell, to avenge HER. I was ruthless towards him. I was as merciless&calculating towards him as he had been towards me. You can call it revenge... but I prefer calling it tough love. He can say that I toyed with his feelings&emotionally took advantage of him after that, that I was PURPOSEFULLY mean, but I'll call it TOUGH LOVE. LOVE HURTS. Besides, he was ASKING for it.

I haven't been contacted by anyone but, I would certainly tell them to run for the hills and not look back. I tell everyone woman I meet to just look up Narcissim. There's a wealth of information out there. No woman or man should have to indure the pain they put us through. I can't get enough of what I have been learning from others experiences and heartaches. If I can inform just one, i've done what i'm suppose too. I don't have to know you in order to feel compassion. Keep telling all that will listen. Knowledge is power.

had many OW's. All but one of them, I contacted or they contacted me. I never blamed any of them for what HE chose to do to exit our marriage. There was only ONE OW he had that I couldn't stand the site of, not because she was with my ex, but because she was a borderline and a sick one at that, on top of other mental health issues to which her children were also taken away from her. The rest were as nice as nice could be. I saw how all of them got caught in his path. He used the same story every time. I saw it for what it was. They were victims too and bought his psycho sales stories. The OW I appreciated the very most, was the one who called me out of the blue to tell me that he had hooked up with yet another OW at work. We liked one another, and at the time I was pregnant and she felt bad for me. I kicked him out, but LO I took him back. It wasn't long after that that it was over.

This is a personal decision. If you contact her, would it benefit you? Do you sincerely wish to open this door? You could just send her a link to this forum.

I wouldn't call it sisterhood on my end. My OW knew my husband was married to me and didn't care. She took what she wanted, didn't care how others would be affected. I never made her a part of my problem, if it wasn't her, it would have eventually been someone else. I don't allow her to stand in my way of healing, she is irrelevant and always will be to me. Do I feel bad for her and what lies ahead of her when she is faced with this same experience? Sometimes............but I honestly won't know for sure until that day comes, and it will. I wouldn't wish the pain and suffering we endured on my worst enemy. But like I have said before, wouldn't trade the experience for the world. It has opened my eyes to the real world. My rose colored glasses have been replaced with clear lenses and now I see the world for what it is, the good, the bad, the indifferent. In my past, I saw nothing but good in everyone, I was convinced that even the worst of people possessed goodness. I once was blind, but now I see.............pretty cool verse.

I wanted to contact the new boyfriend she sucked in, but I never did. Now I am so glad I didn't because every time I did take action, or blabbed about the drama, or whatever, it just fed the insanity inside of me, and fed the drama beast. It got addictive, the drama and chaos. It didn't feel good, but I did feel alive and activated, like being hunted maybe. People need to learn their own lessons, or not. It is none of my business what they say, think, do, or feel. Walking away from the daily drama saved my sanity and dignity. And gave my life room for some good to come my way. ds