The silent treatment

and No Contact is that they use The Silent Treatment to punish and hurt us in the relationship. They use it to control, manipulate and train us to accommodate their needs. They also use it arbitrarily as a weapon to confuse and abuse us -to send mixed messages. When we go No Contact, it is to save and protect ourselves from their emotional & psychological abuse, control, manipulation, lies, perpetual mind games, and in some cases, physical harm. We are trying to escape the spell they've had us under, get out of the fog, take our lives back, and heal. The only way to do this is to get away from the thing that is continuing to injure us.

"...I was wrong to be hurt because it wasn't his intent." I got this line of BS all the time!! He would honestly expect that he could do whatever he wanted, no matter how much hurt it was causing for me. Then be upset with ME because I GOT HURT! WTF!!! It never ceases to amaze me how similar these idiots all are!!

You just hit on a big one for me. For our 10th anniversary I had my Dad babysit so we could go out to eat. The asshole ignored me the whole time. Plus gave me those "you disgust me" looks. A older lady he worked with walked by and he talked to her and never even introduce me. I was so niave at the time and it hurt me so bad. I use to think the silent treatment was he was just depressed, now I know it was punishment for. He would walk around the house and not speak or look at me for a week at a time. I would always ask if something was wrong and he would say no. He so fucked my head up for years, I am sooooooo happy to be out of that.

and I only did it once...never to return... At the grand age of 39, I will not be given the silent treatment by some fat overgrown baby who's now 50.... my mum used to dish it out and I remember it well Bad luck I was feeling hormonal and pissed off at the time....

just part of their sick games, I would try calling him and calling him and he was either on vacation or busy so I would stop and ignore him then when I finally answered he would say, Where have you been? I was starting to get worried about you, are you snubbing me? Sick games they just use that as an excuse so they can ONCE AGAIN blame us because THEY were off lying or trying to find a reason so they dont have to explain their absence. I KNOW ALL his games, he taught me well, he was a great one on changing the subject too, I would ask So when are we getting together and he would say, God it just poured here and I just got my lawn mowed, I am like WTF does that have to do with what I just asked you, good glad to know its fricking raining and your stupid fricking grass is cut, who gives a shit. Then he would pull this stunt too, oh oh I have to go my GF just pulled in the driveway, ya right nice try LIAR LIAR LIAR, and I have to go wash my cat.

Literally walked out on my narc once at a restaurant. He and I were having a discussion -- actually it was him telling me that he was still in love w/ an old girlfriend so didn't want a relationship with me. Then a friend of his walked in, he got up and went outside to talk to the friend. I waited about 5 mins. and left. Later he said it "wasn't cool" that I "walked out on" him. I told him I had no reason to stay. Then the hoovering started. . . . Blurgh.

omg...yes happened all the time. The silent treatment was av weekly thing with him. fn baby, Same thing when we would go out to dinner. he knew it made me uncomfortable so he loved doing it. i would mirror it back to him but since i was cutting off his supply he didn't like it. i hated imitating his behavior because it was not me at all but i did it to punish him. after his mask was off i use to look in the mirror and say "i hate the person i am becoming."

Candy, I was only with my Narc for 2 months and 2 months of trying to get out... so I'm sorry you're going through this! Let me just say since I've been NC I've wondered why or how he could possibly go 3 days without contacting me at all... here's why: I'm a good-looking, independent, successful girl... Any NORMAL guy would come running after me like no other, for that matter NORMAL guys don't typically do the silent treatment. So when you don't hear from him, don't feel as though you've fallen off the face of the earth just realize HES NOT NORMAL so he won't be doing what normal guys do ;) XOXO

Do you really want someone to contact you that told you to Fuck Off ? I have read so many articles that have said if your disordered has thrown you to the curb count yourself LUCKY, although we dont feel very lucky do we? We feel worthless and thrown out like a pile of garbage but they say its a blessing in disguise if they leave us. It truly IS, if we were totally healed I KNOW we could see that this person that did this to us is a cruel and ROTTEN ROTTEN person. I am looking forward to the day I can think of him and say, OH MY GOD, was HE a fricking FREAK, I am looking forward to the day I can know that every single memory I had of him was pathological, he was sick and a fraud and a fake. I think in order to do that though our Hearts must first heal from the simple fact of loving someone that does not have the capacity to love another human back, not only is it deep betrayal to us its something very difficult to even comprehend that there are some people that simply cant feel or love their fellow human beings as we have always know all our lives. They are good at telling other to fuck off, in other words, I dont want to deal with you or the TRUTH I'd rather just run away and go find someone else that will buy into all my lies and my act, you got too wise and smart so its time to run away. They do this with every single confrontation they have in their relationships, they either manipulate like hell or they tell us to go to hell, what kind of partner is that. So when you think of him leaving you the curb, think of him also on to the next or current who is buying into his act and pathology and sickness, it was NOTHING you did, you only saw the truth and light - that is how we are supposed to live we are not supposed to live our lives in a LIE with someone, everyone they are with lives in a lie with them, some just dont know it until its too late. x0x0