Silence

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#1 May 30 - 8AM
Smarter-thanthis
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Silence

Ugh, beautiful memorial day. Weather great here. I am missing the NARC family picnic.

His family likes me........I was there all Christmas. Wonder if they will ask him where I am?

Wonder if he is bringing another girl. :0(

I have gotten SILENCE all week except that "HI" text Saturday night. ( I did not respond)

The silence is killing me.

May 30 - 1PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Silence is golden

Back in the day... I used to find the ex-Psych prof's silence annoying. I wouldn't have even minded a "f**k off." Just to get attention. ANY. I'd always talk about calling him... but every time I'd say that I'd call him... there was ZERO follow-through on my part (so much for being a woman of my word) Now I realize that silence is golden. If he ever contacted me... I don't think I'd really listen to him. I'd hear him... but not listen. (He used to praise me for being an understanding listener) My response would probably be an "LOL" or "ROFLMAO", KNOWING that his understanding of basic slang is as good as my understanding of quantum physics. He associates me with deep Narcissistic Injury... or as they say on MST3K, "Deep hurting." I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain, angry or jealous. He was paranoid about being laughed at... the thought of being ridiculed SCARED him... and unfortunately, I haven't helped that. It's like he knows that if he contacted me... I'D be the one laughing at his boring, empty @$$. I'd be using him for comic fodder. Emphasis on "using."
May 30 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Smarter

Ahhh the silent treatment!! Certain things are triggers, but this day will pass,tomorrow is a new narc free day! This silent man is a jackass! Find some friends or one enjoy the day. Anyone who disgards you like this doesn't deserve one ounce of your time! I'm not saying it's easy but it's worse if you allow this abusive behavior to continue! He says"HI" nice crumb, this is how it went for me! I had a final conversation and said" Fuck You, I will never speak to you again" I kept my word! It hasn't been easy but I'm a valuable piece of merchandise and so are you! Leave him at the Dollar store where he belongs! The NC days that pass will build and the light will shine again. Hunter
May 30 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
Smarter-thanthis
Smarter-thanthis's picture

Yes hunter, When I got

Yes hunter, When I got the "HI" text it pissed me off and I DID think nice little CRUMB mother f'er! I felt empowered all night, while out with my friends that I did not respond. I thought there would be more from him to follow........ Nothing. My empowerment was lasted one night........ My poor ego and self esteem is sooooooooooo screwed up.
May 30 - 11AM
adoette
adoette's picture

silence

I know that silence brings its own kind of pain, but it is a gift from the universe. Consider the a few of the other alternatives to silence: 1. He could be swooning and pouring it on (see badabing's story for this tactic) You don't want to fight that shit. 2. He could be sending weird, short, or cryptic messages (see my wacko and his counting down) You don't want to feel afraid and/or confused. 3. He could be sending mean hateful words (plenty examples of that around here) You don't want to know that he's hating on you. I totally get that you want some contact so that you can ignore him. I had contact from the N and at first I was grateful that he hadn't given up (validation that I did mean something to him, and that he still wanted me). But then I was scared and wanted him to stop his freakish ambush. The silence that is killing you will give way to something good and you will feel alive again. Hope you can sit with it and get to the other side. We're here for you. Hang in there. (((hugs)))
May 30 - 9AM
cluelessuntilnow
cluelessuntilnow's picture

quote

Just a little encouragement to stay NC. Silence on your part is power. "Saying nothing...sometimes says the most"-Emily Dickenson
May 30 - 9AM
Kiwi2005
Kiwi2005's picture

Smarter than this

Happy Memorial Day! Be happy, miss the family all you want, but know that you cannot see and or speak to them ever again. TRUST ME when I say this... Silence is the best gift he can give. I have broken NC and for the past week and I can't get myself back to NC... and I broke it to "see what if" and I got my answer- yet still I continue- it's a never ending cycle. BE HAPPY the silence is there! It's the best for you! It's easier than you think (easier than being in contact- TRUST ME). GOOD LUCK! STAY STRONG! You're doing well- keep it at silence :)
May 30 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Smarter-thanthis
Smarter-thanthis's picture

Tnx kiwi...... I KNOW it's

Tnx kiwi...... I KNOW it's the best. My my heart likes it when he is constantly texting me. Clearly he is preoccupied with OW. He is always juggling at least 3 I have come to relize.. I am bottom of the heap again