Should you defend yourself???

Nope, do nothing, Give him enough rope and he will eventually hang himself. Its just another way of fucking with you, thats what they do best. Hunter

Everything an N does is for a reason. Seems that he has your daughter every weekend. So he needs help in taking care of her because a child is a lot of work. So he has the other child come over to amuse your daughter. Also, I assume you all will be going to court over child support & visitation? This is a common ploy to make the woman out to be controlling. She won't let all the children be together. Finally. You are keeping his daughter away? His daughter from a previous relationship. Now what obligation & relationship do you have to his child from another woman? Particularly when your child & this other child had little or no contact. I wonder? Have you contact with the mother of the other daughter? She may be a source of support & information. or she may not want to have anything to do with you because she's had it with him & his manipulations. Do not respond to this man's insinuations in any way. Anybody who credits such nonsense on FB is also cracked. And I agree, keep everything. And preserve those abusive voice mails on a tape. Preserve every text. Maybe you can photograph & then transcribe the words as well. All this will be important if you end up in court with him. Forget these other people whom he whines to. Also, open up an NEW e-mail account, free on line. Tell N that this is your new e-mail address. Force him to use only that account. And do not give that account to any other person. it is exclusively devoted to N. It will be useful in the end when looking for his e-mails. Everything will be in one place. Not mixed up with other correspondence.

don't get involved in any of his family. They have nothing to do with you and you can't convince them of anything as they've been fed lies and he will only distort this and you will be in his "game" which is what he wants, he's trying to provoke you into responding. Don't respond to him or anyone else other than the police. Keep the messages as there will be more, you need to build a case so keep a book, transcribe the abusive texts and messages so you can go to the authorities and get a harassment order in the future. If you go to the police now they will log this and your case against him will grow. Unfortunately, he will more likely do more stuff and escalate his abuse. Whatever you do he will change the goal posts and you and your daughter will get sucked in to something really bad. If you respond the police can't do much as it will look like a two way thing, also he may put an harassment order on you. He may then go for sole custody in the future and you won't look squeaky clean. Believe me I've lived through this and this was the advice from my safety officer and it worked. Document at all times. He's going to get worse, keep strong and keep away from his games. In my situation, three years later the judge has just ordered that he only see the children every 6 weeks for 3 hours in a contact centre plus a psychiatric report that he has to pay for. The more you ignore the more abusive tactics he will do and he will slip up badly and show himself to be what he is and you can expose him in front of the people that matter (judge, police and social services), his family and friends count for NOTHING they don't know him or the truth.

xoxo

and yes, I am of the opinion that if you give them an inch they will take an arm, they are cowards and will give in if threatened, and that your daughter may turn against you if you do not take measures to stop it right now. I would just be a huge bitch and threaten him, make it clear. If you are in any kind of danger though I would not do it. Only you know that. I just found that once I let the narc step on me once, he did it SO many more times and actually took away my entire career because I didn't have the balls to go up against him right when it started.

Hmmmm...I think you might tell him that if he does not take his posts down and tell his friends that what he said is not happening, that you will expose his VM and texts to them.

Do not try and defend yourself. Just keep quiet. Remember silence is the ultimate way to defend yourself. With these freaks anything you say can and will be used against you. Remember keep silent and remember that the one thing that really gets to these creeps is being ignored and indifference to them. Its like murdering them. Their biggest fear is that they dont exist.