Should we tell the "new girl(s)?

I had read on here once about someone asking if telling the "new girlfriend" about your past relationship would "help" or "warn" them. At that time I had said that I would tell if I was asked, not thinking I would ever have the opportunity.

Well,

I got the opportunity!!! When I was asked, I told the truth! She even believed me!! We are actually friends at this point, and she and I are working together to keep each other away from him, and all the head games he plays with everyone.

I had a three year relationship with him. She has had a year and a half relationship with him. (At the same time). Little did we know that girl number THREE was also being brought into his world. We both tried to warn, or help her, but she is too busy being bowled over by his wonderfulness. I will try with her no more.

I must say that I am very happy that I talked to, and have this girl in my life. She totally understands the pain, fear, abuse, and LIES this person has put upon us. The truth is out!! We both found out that he tells the same lies to both of us. He tells each of us that the other is a "stalker", he even said to her that he had a restraining order against me, which is totally untrue. After reading text messages and hearing voice mails he left me, she found that he was pitting us against each other the whole time!! In sharing all this,we have made it a point to try to be positive, and help each other get past this.

I left this forum a while ago because I felt that unless you were hateful and/or jaded, that no one really wanted to hear anything you had to say. I am still in therapy, have read the book Why Women Love Psychopaths twice, and will again, and again, and as much as I hated to do it, I did also need to take anti-depressants for a little while to deal with the intrusive thoughts, and my inability to eat. I am doing really well, and in part to this wonderful girl I was lucky enough to meet, and share my/our pain with.

I just wanted to again come here to say that I am doing well working on accepting the things I need to accept about the relationship, trying hard to stay on the healthy path to growing past this, and looking forward to a day when all this is a bad memory of my past!

I will continue to do this without hating anyone, or needing to be rude, or spiteful to anyone. He is a sick person, who needs to be avoided at all costs, but I refuse to give him the power of being the object of my hate, it is too powerful of an emotion to have for someone who doesn't understand feelings to begin with.

I hope everyone on here finds a space within themselves to heal, and to grow away from the things that have happened to you. Layers of growth are painful as they roll off of us, but are part of the growing process.

My favorite saying lately is "He is sicker than we are smart", and the only way to win this fight for me; is to grow and be the person I know I was before I met him, and the even better person I will be when I am beyond this mess!

Best of luck to all of you!