Should I Leave Him With A Powerful Message?

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#1 Jul 1 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Should I Leave Him With A Powerful Message?

I have been playing with the idea of leaving him with a powerful message, that I know who he is and that I was just used...are there any thoughts to this? I havent spoken to him in a week and he was downright evil in the way he ended the relationship. I just feel like I have a ball of emotion I want to let out about Knowing who he is and what he is all about. What do you suggest?

I am deeply hurt by the situation and it has taken me some time to come to grips with the fact that he never actually loved me. He was probably one of the most amazing individuals I have ever met in my entire life, sweeping me off my feet to niagara falls in the first month and half and confessing his love to me, to this no contacting me stuff, looking back I feel like it all was a lie.

Jul 5 - 3PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Cherlynn

No, do not let on that you have figured him out. I personally think it's dangerous to do this because he could panic and rage or hurt you knowing you see him for who he really is. Besides, he doesn't deserve an explanation for why you're cutting him off. Just cut him off. No contact is the only way. Stay strong and know we're here for you! Big Hugs, Lisa
Jul 1 - 8PM
Marie
Marie's picture

Cherlynn

Listen to the ladies here. I wish I had found this site a year ago when all the crap hit the fan it would have helped me through so much of the pain. The first time he disappeared, I listened to his bs story and in the end wound up apologizing to HIM! I should never have went back after he disappeared the first time but gave him a chance. He did the same thing again but in a much worse nastier way. I had date an N way before this didn't have a name for him but now I do. They are liars, con artists and will never ever acknowledge any wrong doing. They will never apologize so don't look for one even if they did it's meaningless. I've learned anything they say is meaningless and just said to get what they want. It's all about them. You may think telling him off will feel good, it might but more than likely it won't. Trust me been there done that. As angry as you are I sense you want things to go back. I felt that way a long time too. I missed that guy I met he was so romantic, so much fun but he wasn't real. I'm sorry you're going through it sucks. It took me a year to get to where I am now. Do not contact him, he will do this to you over and over again. Be well, Marie
Jul 1 - 6PM
Debra (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

No, no , no!

I agree with everyone and say do not contact him! If you give him the opportunity he will find a way to twist everything you say to him and turn it all around so it seems to be all your fault and not his.. NO CONTACT is the way to go. Even if he eventually tries to get in touch with you, do not go there.
Jul 1 - 4PM
Jodie
Jodie's picture

Nope. Don't do it. The

Nope. Don't do it. The reason why I say this is because you are expecting a "normal" response from him and you also think this might make you feel better if you let him have it and know that you are on to him. Big mistake. Two reasons. One, you will NOT get a normal response from him. He will either be indifferent or blame everything on you. Two, this will end up making you feel worse...more neglected, confused and hurt. If you really want to send him a message don't contact him at all. That will be more effective. "Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."

"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."

Jul 1 - 3PM
Hazel (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Don't be "that" girl or why I stay NoContact!

Or what stopped me from ever contacting the psychopath again. At the time I cut the psychopath off I was not aware of what he was; I knew he was self-absorbed, mean and volatile, but I did not use terms like narcissist and certainly not psychopath. But I did get through revelations that he didn't give a lick about me. I pushed these thoughts to bottom of my soul and counteracted them with the deep belief he did indeed care, but just that, as he said, it was "hard" for him. I let his abuse slide for a few months, really the entire time I was speaking to him, until I GOT I was a means to an end; I GOT I was played. Read rest here: http://holywatersalt.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-be-that-girl.html
Jul 1 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Hazel

HI! Glad to see you here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jul 1 - 11AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Hell NO!

NO!! Do NOT DO IT!! What do you think it will accomplish? He won't be hurt he will be angry - and that could lead to bad news for you. He won't "get it" He won't apologize. He can't love anyone. He's not fixable. The most powerful message we can ever send them? IS NO CONTACT!!!!!!!! Cut him off. COMPLETELY & TOTALLY. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jul 1 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
rll1997 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

YES, SEND HIM A MESSAGE

BY NOT CONTACTING HIM, BELIEVE ME, YOU ARE SENDING HIM THE BIGGEST MESSAGE YOU COULD POSSIBLE SEND HIM. THE MESSAGE IS ..... YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE HIS S##T ANYMORE.