setmefree's story

My Story

Hi Everyone,

I am just found this website 4 days ago and I feel as though it has become my morning, afternoon and night go to place....so I wanted to start off by saying thank you. Here is my story... Let me start by saying I was only with my ex N for 3 months but our break up and year following has been torture

looking back I realize now the place I was in when I met the ex narc. previously, I had been in an on again off again relationship with an addict ( I do know just how off my radar with men was ) My self esteem was in the toilet. Knowing what I know now I was the perfect prey for my Ex N.

When I first met him I was kinda grossed out by him. He had a Mohawk, tattoos and piercings ( yes a huge Mohawk at age 31 ) However I decided to sleep with him that night because well to be honest I was at a loss and thought what the heck. ( just to bring you up to speed, my self esteem has grown great lengths since)

Anyhow he texted me by 7 am the next morning asking when he would get to see me again. Really? I thought to myself...I assumed it was a one night stand but anyhow I decided to see him again....Oh how I wish I would've never made that choice.

From that day forward we were inseparable... If we weren't at work we were together and if we were at work we were texting....I thought to myself No way....I finally met the one... Now reading all these posts my exnarc did everything text book.

He bought me things like shampoo , conditioner , PJs, Wine and wine glasses, turned his 2nd bathroom into my bathroom, if I was sick he was right there to take care f me, ( I own a 2 bedroom condo) and he suggested that I get a roommate so I would have someone to be at my house and I could be at his more... He even went as far as helping clean for the new tenant... I see now that this was all his way of secluding and controlling me... but at the time it felt like heaven. Mind you this was after 3 weeks of knowing eachother. But there wasn't a second of the day where I didn't feel special...

Than towards the end of our 2nd month he started to get critical... I didn't put the toothpaste on my toothbrush right ect.

One night after what seemed to be an amazing 3 days together we got into a fight because he had many ex lovers that he still wanted to be friends with ( he has been with over 100 women ) so I felt like everywhere we went I had to be near them.... In this fight I told him things had to change in that department or I would need to break up with him ( normal request ).... In that moment he got cold as ice... left his house and didn't talk to me for 7 weeks...

We had mutual friends and when they would ask him what happened he would just say matter of factly and very cold some people just don't work...yet less than 24 hours before this we were riding bikes and holding hands.....Our mutual friends didn't even know how to relate to me because they couldn't understand it either...

But oh how he hovered.....I mean everyway he possibly could. And when that didn't work he texted me to see how I was doing and get into a 2 day flirt/fun texting convo and than as soon as I felt happy he would say something like " you really think id date you again" or " the only reason I was nice to you is because you had sex with me everyday" ...but the craziest part of these rude replies is they would come after 2-3 days of fun and friendly convo.... Finally I did NC for 5 months. I was so proud of myself.... but than 2 weeks ago I unblocked his number...

Ugh..not proud of myself but I did...and I was bartending and texted him to see if him and his friends wanted to come visit me and within 30 mins there he was...MY EX N...MY addiction...sitting at my bar. I went home with him that night and he was just like he was in the beginning... he kissed my tears told me he knew every look I had n my face...ect ect ...I kissed him but refused to sleep with him and left...

2 days later he texted me and asked me if I had a boyfriend and I replied No.. He wrote back " It would have been hotter the other night if you did"...ugh and than sent me the song " I put a spell on you" anyway long story short I am 4 days NC now...I have him blocked on every social media sight as well as my phone ....

Anyhow ..I guess my question is..I know I am a bright girl with a great career and have a lot going foe me...I only was with him for 3 months so why oh why has this messed with my head so bad... I get so angry with myself that he still got under my skin. The good news is I feel very strng and becoming deteached from the whole situation and the NC isn't bothering me that much this time around...but the shame I carry is....