Seriously?!

Oh god. This is probably the thing that drives me the most nuts about the Narc "relationship" and can literally drive us crazy. They act as if the D&D never happened and everything is just normal. They conveniently skip the entire apology step as a normal human would do, and get right to the gravy of what they want at the moment. However, I must agree with the wise AgnesMurphy (it is nice to hear from you!) that most likely he was bored in the moment, and if you ever took him up on this, he would likely "forget" and make you seem like a groveling idiot. Let me tell you what happened to me. 1. July 2010. Ugly, brutal D&D that was a result of me honestly asking him why he was still pursing me when I thought I was "yesterday's trash". A simple two sentence email from me that was not sarcastic, but was a sincere question of which I really wanted to know the answer. 2. Him avoiding my question entirely and instead chose to end our entire 25 year relationship saying he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. That we have no basis for a relationship, and basically going into Narc rage that I would questions his motives. Me calling him to avoid email rage. Him refusing to take my call (he couldn't even give me the decency of at least a face to face or voice ending of 25 years) and writing me an email that said if I ever wished to talk to him I would need to have a third party on the line. OK.... 3. NC for many months. 4. Jan 2011. He drives 2 1/2 hours to go to a winery event where he knew I would be. Totally unannounced. He comes straight up to me, hugs me, kisses me, grabs my hand, tells me it is a beautiful night and can we walk around the winery outside. Flirts with me all night. Tells me he will be my slave and get me wine "or anything else i want". Basically stays glued to me all night long. 5. Two weeks later....I start to miss him and wonder if I've made the wrong decision. I write him an email to ask if we can get together at lunch and talk. He writes me a nasty email back saying that "i am violating his boundaries" by wanting to get together and he "basically wants nothing to do with me." Huh? This is a major mind f*ck. So they will come onto to us when they want to and it feels good and it suites their needs at the moment. But the moment we respond and show interest, they will pull the rug out from under us AGAIN. Because Narcs/ Psychopaths are all about dominance and power. And this is a very fun power trip for them...nothing else. So....IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE! He is bored and is just trying to get some entertainment value out of you and probably 12 other women at the same time just to see which one(s) will take the bait - all for his own amusement!!!!!

This is a classic move. Act as if ZERO is wrong. Show up cool as a cucumber as if there had been no contact after a blow up, or an ending of a relationship. And, many people fall for this. Ns have no conscience, no accountability, no shame. People are there to be used. N sees some "use" for you in his proposed travels--money, sex, companionship, car -- somehow he has a use for you. The trip could be a ploy to engage in a conversation in the present -- to make contact because he has some use for you. Even if the use is to engage with you now, in these few minutes, because he's bored. But, by tomorrow, he may be busy & his inquiry may be forgotten. You may answer then & he will not know why you are bothering him.

are u kidding me??? shit...what a doucheeee...he thinks he's doing u the favour of giving u a proper "screw off"..ha.. Don't do it...they suck u back in so they can go for the kill. did that TWICE and it felt like a stab in the HEART twice. The first time he D&D me so I ent to his home and told him off and meant it and i didnt call him, on the third day he calls me sobbing and all..i forgave him, at the end of the conversation, like some friggin chamelion he changes totally unsobbing says "ya so this is the last time I'm talking to u okay i'm going to change my number" what a toad! Second time he contacts me from India tells me he misses me and all..then of course says the wife to be is BETTER than me..just to HURT me..goes in for the kill once again..of course i then had his number and called him 3 days later..well was he is all missing me still? HELL NO...he acted indifferent and dismissive like i was wasting his precious his time becasue he had to go shopping..can u believe it??? so pleas edon't bother with these creeps he's just going in for the ultimate kill..

the sick MF'er thinks you'll just go racing back into his arms so he can "give you a proper send off?" WTF. Let your silence be HIS PROPER SEND OFF. Remember, if you respond you give him (on a silver platter I might add) another opportunity to D & D you with silent treatment, not responding back, a "scrambled egg" response how it's all your fault, rage, disappearing act, etc. etc. TURN THE TABLES ON THIS FREAK. Block and delete. Look at how just this exceedingly transparent HOOVER attempt has your head "spinning." REJECT IT! You've gone four weeks NC, that's HUGE. He's gotten the message that you're changing the script. You're breaking the old pattern of going back for more chaos and abuse. Let your SILENCE continue to send that message LOUD AND CLEAR. Stay strong. No Contact is the key! Sincerely, (not) spinning. I REFUSE TO. I REJECT ALL CHAOS AND CONFUSION AND SELF DOUBT

p.s. tell him to pound sand and then block him from FB forever!!

MIne ALWAYS acted like everything was all fine and nothing happened, i think it's a huge gaslighting tactic. This is what they do. I told mine one time near the end when he came back acting like everything was just groovy, it must be nice to have no conscience. Freakshow bastards!

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND.... THIS WILL SCREAM AT HIM, WHAT AN INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE TOAD HE IS.... YOU HAVE THE POWER PEACHESN...DONT GIVE IT TO HIM... PRICK IS TO KIND A WORD FOR HIM....

Now that's a hoover if I ever saw one!!! How about you give him a proper send off by ignoring him!!

Do not respond! It's what he expects. Classic "hoover" here. He will suck you back in and destroy you. That is his "perfect send-off"........he will send you home crippled, destroyed. DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Delete, delete, delete............... Stay strong, for your own good.