Seeking Advice

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#1 May 17 - 4PM
Chi
Chi's picture

Seeking Advice

My EXN contacted me via a text message. I have been paying for a storage area for the past 4 years and he has some of his belongings there. He D &D me in January after a 14 year relationship and is planning to move in with the OW this weekend. He is renting a truck this Sat and wants his stuff. I texted him and said it was not a good time for me. ( I had been NC for 8 weeks.) I have relatives who are coming in June to help me clean out the storage area. Do I let him pick up his stuff when it is convenient for me or sell on E-Bay or just throw it in the garbage? He was very persistent in getting his stuff.

May 17 - 9PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcs play games

And, I just made a suggestion to another member about turning over "property" It is rightfully his and he has given notice he wishes to claim it. Refusal could result in a lawsuit to "pressure" you to turn it over. How to get out of this humdinger at your convenience? Play the sick card. Dear Narc, I have noted your request to retrieve your belongings, unfortunately at this time I am unable to provide access for personal reasons I do not wish to discuss. In June I anticipate being able to attend to this matter. I have family that will be visiting who will help me deal with this and other issues. Please note, this is not an effort to make things difficult; it is more of a physical hindrance. I will give you at least ten days notice so that you can make the appropriate arrangements for retrieval. Ball park figure, I anticipate this will occur around (beginning, mid, end) June. Thank you for your anticipated cooperation and understanding. SEND IT CERTIFIED. While you might want to throw darts and be a royal bitch cause you're angry...in this case you kill them with kindness, answer no questions but CYA so that if he wants to make a legal stink, it is evidenced in writing you have explained it was PHYSICALLY impossible to jump when he said so, it was not a control/vendetta issue on your part, you were willing but unable to meet his requests...he's forced to play by your rules and the court won't say or do a darn thing. That is my best advice. But document on paper and keep your word this way he has no wiggle room our out to cry foul and create even more problems for you - remember, they get off on this. AND REMEMBER, YOU OWE HIM NO EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHAT THE PHYSICAL CHALLENGES ARE NOR DETAILS...YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, YOU ARE JUST GIVING HIM "FACTS" I do believe the ladies have a point in terms of requesting payment, this is something you also could include in your letter; however, the fact that you did hold his things, and there was no written agreement I am not sure if courts would necessarily say he owed you as he might argue it was implied the offer was made without the condition of financial restitution. Nonetheless, it is his property...mull it over some. I think if you've been paying this long and the bigger picture is you want him gone, if the loss of storage fees that you both benefited from is the issue - you're getting off cheap to have him gone once and for all without any excuse for him to haunt you. Hugs!
May 17 - 7PM
Tinker
Tinker's picture

tell him...

to send u a check for a % of the storage costs over the past 4 years. when you get that, and at your convenience, put his stuff outside the storage and tell him to come get it. believe me, you'll get no points from anyone for being nice. remember what 14 years with him cost you...
May 17 - 6PM
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

sell it!

Sell it to recoup the monies you spent storing it for the past four years, tell him to >>>get lost, you no longer have it and you won't once ebay gets ahold of it, best wishes!

stay~strong

May 17 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Tell him you have it ready...

But in the meantime, sell it on eBay. It's been there for 4 years (???) He hasn't let you move on by having you pay for his stuff FOR FOUR YEARS. Cripes... if the ex-Psych prof had any of his things with me, it would be as safe as a mouse with a cat. Tell him to go to the storage area... and when it gets there, it'll be as empty as he is ;) YOU decide whether it should be sold, trashed. YOU are God in his life.
May 17 - 5PM
momoya
momoya's picture

uh..no

TECHNICALLY if he has not picked up his stuff in 4 years it is yours, honey. :) If he has not made arrangements with you or contacted you and made an agreement (ADULTS DO THAT) for you to keep his things then he has no real standing in a court. Basically you are being nice. So if you and when you feel like deal with it but don't let it be any kind of inconvenince to you !

momoya

May 17 - 5PM
Kiwi2005
Kiwi2005's picture

Chi

Umm who did you say has been paying for that storage? You? Okay then... so YOU let him get his stuff when YOU are ready, ignore his ass for another 8 weeks... I know that can be hard but just think- he'll be going insane (why isn't she replying, Umm I'm the king of the world why isn't she bowing down to me? Etc) Basically don't just say come on over within minutes :) Bring out the gracious biatch in you... we ALL have one :)
May 17 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

CHI

Squaters rights I think. You've been paying? Seem to me it's your stuff. Tell him " Show me the money " better yet send the invoices to his OW. Flip side is, he will drive you nuts, Is it worth it? Play with him a bit, that's part of the fun. Make him beg like he made you beg for him. Hunter