Second-guessing myself

I went before the Judge last week for the final time for our impending legal separation. My lawyer went for it and mentioned my husband's hidden bank accounts and credit cards and the Judge pounced on him. I was completely fearful of how he would react once I got home as we are still under the same roof. I was met with rage and accusations of ruining his life. I felt and still do feel sick. I really didn't want my lawyer to dig that deep but she could see that I wouldn't do it on my own. I was hoping we could have an amicable separation but it is not going to be like that. I am feeling at fault and want to ask if this is a normal 'scene' and whether others can relate to it? It is likely that we will be legally separated before December of this year. I am 54 years old and can't help looking at couples my age who are happy and are looking forward to retirement together. I will be on my own with a teenage son. That does worry me but I know that there is no turning back.