Reversed NC

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#1 Mar 24 - 5PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Reversed NC

I spent 8 yrs with this man, 5 of them married. Sacrificed so much to be together, as did he.....For a long while, it seemed so perfect. Except once married, the wonderful sex came to a screeching halt. Little by little, everything he had shared with us, he was taking it back...
Not quite 4 months yet since we split, but I'm wondering......how the hell to get over this?
He left me for a married woman, another marriage he has wrecked. He is an undiagnosed malignant narcissist bipolar psychopath! He obviously covets what other people have. I suspect strongly that he was sexually abused by his mother.
Before we married, he did the boomerang thing...here gone here gone...but has been pretty consistent while we've been married.(although he was screwing around too)
This is what sounds odd to me compared to all of you..., he is treating me with NC? And the children?
I'm a dependent spouse, which is what he wanted....and can't instantly change that now. When I have an issue, he doesn't reply to email. I've only tried to call him 4 times the entire time he's been gone, and he doesn't answer his phone for me? It's always been important, or I wouldn't call. IF it is an email or message that is concerning HIM, of course, that is an instant reply. I had two kids when he pursued me, and he has been a father to them for 8 years. He doesn't contact them either. Am I crazy? Or do you guys think this is normal? I know he's moved on, and that's okay. We still have issues though, and will until after the divorce.
All the pain and humiliation we have endured because of him, and then he treats us with NC? I think he has probably done a lot of projecting...His family, his business associates, all the people we knew together, and no one has contacted me to see how the boys or myself are doing? When we first split, his family told me they knew there was something wrong with him, but they hoped me and the boys would have changed him? Hello? No one told me! Just wondering what any of you can make of this? I don't want him back. I'm not stalking. Am actually becoming more and more at peace without him...........though of course, I get lonely..and am afraid for our future. Can even a psychopath just move on and actually erase and forget two young people that adored him? I'm sorry. I don't find this human! Don't suppose anyone can tell me what to do. You can't tell me NC. haha Just wondering if you've ever heard of this before? I'm not sure what to make of it.............

Mar 25 - 1PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

gullablegull.....me too

My ex N is also NC,he acts and say stuff like if i did all the things he did to me...i lost my marriage,money,self esteem ,the only light i saw was maybe the light of a train...They have no feelinngs no remorse,they are reptiles,really ,they are unable to feel anything but fear and anger.

Aceonelady

Mar 25 - 12PM
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The damage they do

You have to wonder how many marriages they have broke up, when they had no intention at all of being serious with the married women the used as prey, they dont care at all if they caused divorces, like I said sooooo dangerous and one day one victim's loved one will take a pop shot at them
Mar 25 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

N marry N?

Oh Cynthia! Wouldn't that be sweet? Someone taking a little revenge ? I would never dare, but I'd be pleased if someone else did. Sorry, I'm human. I do happen to know, that the man was quite pleased that my N took his wife! haha Sounds like they might be meant for each other...she sounds like a bit of one also. Wonder how that will work? Anyone know of a N married to an N? I do know that both are bipolar...I'm sorry, I'm almost finding this comical!
Mar 25 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

nope

Ns never marry Ns... this has been discussed before. Ns will marry BPDs, schizoid, bipolar, clinically depressed but never another N... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 24 - 6PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

when the N goes NC

happened to me happens to MANY of us... it's not 18 months yet... and you may have legal stuff to plow through, correct? they see everyone as an OBJECT - NC is no big deal to them find a decent therapist first... it takes a LONG time... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 25 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
running
running's picture

objects

We are objects, aren't we. He used to take me shopping and pick out my clothes, he even came into the dressing room with me, had to make sure the clothes were perfect and tight enough, and barbie dollish...that is SO NOT ME!!! What was I thinking???