Returning Feelings, Help!

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#1 Jan 27 - 2PM
TooStrongForThis
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Returning Feelings, Help!

I apologize for creating a second post...I feel the need to express how I am feeling today and looking for some advice along the process of my soon-to-be-breakup.

For those who don't know, I am planning on splitting with the N. bf in about a week from now. I have a couple of anchors holding me from leaving immediately, not mental anchors..but job-related/broken vehicle that I need towed to parents/moving my stuff without him noticing anchors.

I have made one "accomplishment" recently, which was hiding his FB updates in my news feeds. Sometimes he posts photos of his vehicles or a status update with a section of lyrics that hit home to him. For some reason that bothers me, because I see the people who "like" it...and think to myself "Even though I don't know that girl, what if he talks to her secretly?".

The biggest stab to my heart would be to find him cheating on me, or to find out that he is seeing someone shortly after we officially break up. I don't know what it is. I am not a controlling person and normally not jealous.

I get this heart throb, like I need him but I know in my head that I really don't!

Immediately I had commented that "love you babe" and texted "I love you more than anything in the world"..even though it's not true. I am trying to keep the wind in his sails long enough, until I walk out that door for good. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just ignore it all and continue with my plan?

I asked for a kiss this morning and he cringed and didn't kiss me back. Seems like same shit, different day. But I know it's in my heart to leave and start on with my new life. I have a whole new opportunity that I can't want to explore...it's waiting for me.

I wrote a list of everything he has done to hurt me and I look at it every time I feel this way...today, I just couldn't shake it.

Jan 27 - 8PM
fedup2013
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I'm still in early days of NC

Jan 28 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
TooStrongForThis
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You are so, so, sooooo very

Jan 27 - 6PM
boomer14
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think ahead...

Jan 27 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
Done sourcing
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And you need to practice not

Jan 28 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
TooStrongForThis
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I was staying strong for the

Jan 27 - 6PM
Willow
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Hi Too Strong

Jan 28 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
TooStrongForThis
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I hit a trigger yesterday

Jan 27 - 6PM
Done sourcing
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You need to start looking at

Jan 27 - 2PM
pumpkinpie
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Stay strong! Good job on

Jan 27 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
TooStrongForThis
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Thank you