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Response to GF

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#1 May 17 - 8PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Response to GF

Got an email tonight. N said that he thinks my request to have him end relationship with GF is logical....he guesses. But I need to understand that since we have moved his life has been a nightmare, and it is the GF that has helped him keep his life together. He guesses that he can do it alone without her if he knows we have a plan to reconcile.

Doesn't sound to supportive. Still all about him. He guesses that giving up GF is a fair request? What a joke! Why did he need to tell me that she is what has kept him afloat since we left??? Still all about his needs. Can't even see that it is because of him and her that his family moved away, and he would not have been in the state he has been had it not been for the fact that he had an affair with her.

Doesn't sound like a real empathetic, iinsightful man does it girls?????

May 18 - 7AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

transparent and just plain STOOOOPID

No judge is gonna buy his crap. Especially when your attorney whips out those emails & text messages. He's digging quite a hole for himself. During No Contact I GUARANTEE it will be one BIIIIG and DDDEEEEEPPPP hole. Just be SURE to arrange that he pays alimony & child support THRU THE STATE and ABSOLUTELY NOT directly to you. If he gets the latter he will be able to play more games with you & control you financially. Gosh I can't wait to see his face and hear the BS he tries in court. What a tool! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 18 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
Fawn
Fawn's picture

Good Advice

Yes Barbara, that is very good advice to have the child support and/or alimony go through the courts. I trusted that he would pay it when we first separated last year, and he did for 4 months, then he got mad at me for something and said, "I don't have it." I was living in our marital home then and paying the mortgage by myself. He didn't pay me anything for two months, I had to borrow money from one of my friends to pay my mortgage. It was at that point that I took him to court and guess what, not only did the judge make him pay MORE than he was paying me before we went to court, he also made the N backpay me for the months he missed! It was awesome! Of course he is still pissed about that and brings it up to me AND TO THE KIDS. He really believes that he shouldn't have to pay me anything at all. In his screwed up mind he must believe that he can just walk away from a 15-year marriage, three kids, and go and live like a teenager. UN-Freaking-Believable.
May 19 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
startnew (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Wow

Sometimes all the similarities are uncanny... your remark about going to live like a teenager is so much like my husband. It is amazing all that he has done with his life since we separated... He thinks and acts like he's 14...actually, maybe more like he's five!!!
May 19 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

developmentally stunted

there is a tremendous amount of retarded development in Narcs. see: http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/six.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 19 - 6AM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

would you believe...

n his screwed up mind he must believe that he can just walk away from a 15-year marriage, three kids, and go and live like a teenager. UN-Freaking-Believable. Would you believe this is the MOST COMMON complaint from those divorced with kids from these freaks? In their minds they should have: No boundaries No rules No accountability And they get PISSED when the world expects them to honor their obligations. I no longer care if my exNH is pissed. Too bad so sad. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 17 - 9PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

predicting...

And when you don't go for THAT, the next 'deal' he'll put on the table is that he will give up miss thing for a month to see how that feels while he's working it out with you, and that will prove to you that he's SERIOUSLY committed to this. He'll tell her a month so she's still on the leash, 'just in case'. Is this the barter system or something?? This guy irks me to the bone. Narcs are all about you giving an inch, and them taking a mile. You give to them, they pull back and are aloof; you take from them, they whine and suddenly need you. He is totally playing the both of you for his own selfish needs.
May 17 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

honestly

You know I find it really offensive that he can say he guesses he can give up GF. I also find it really offensive that he compliments GF for helping him keep it together while kids and I left. My fault he is in a bad state, and she is his sweet savior. I guess he can sacrifice her for our marriage. WTF. Honestly, I could see him playing this game. Get wife and kids back into the same state. Live with wife while still having contact with GF. Blame wife for marriage not working, still have GF, ask for divorce, but now not let wife go back to family. I know this sounds evil, but I can see this being the plan. A man who really feels remorse, and really wants their family back does not begrudgingly give up GF. Amazing.
May 17 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

offensive

It is extremely offensive mallory! For him, this is a very generous offer...(I need they eyes-rolling emoticon here!) It's good that you are projecting scenarios into the future, whether or not they become reality. I did this with mine whenever I got the urge to reply back to him. It would go through my mind what he'd say, how he'd act, what he would do if we were back together. I have never been able to work out a happy ending to any of it.