Relief...

I have been broken up with my ex N for over a year and NC for 11 months. This time of year around mothers day last year...began what would become, an on/off again ride of hoovering by my ex.

I don't think about him much except yo share on here. But today...I was looking out the window at the rain falling and felt something beyond indifference. Something that just struck me today. RELIEF. Relief that this year is nothing like last year. Relief that I no longer have to worry over looking down at my cell phone. Relief that I can open my email without angst. Relief that I can be me and I don't have to defend that to anyone. Relief that he is totally GONE.

I cant describe it. It is like drinking a warm tea when your throat is sore. It's like quenching your thirst after a long run. Relief.

Relief that I am free from an abuser. Relief that I could detect now what a potential abuser looks like. (The guy I was getting to know that I shared about here.)

NC is everything it promises to be. For those struggling with it...the alternative is far worse than any temporary pain you have with NC. So stick with it. For relief is around the corner.

This time last year I wanted to press the fast forward button to get here. But relief and peace .....you cant take a shortcut to get there. This time last year he ruined ....j let him ruin...my mothers day with his hoovering. This year...I am narc free and intend to keep it that way.

God bless this site and the efforts of Lisa and the mods. It is life saving.