RELENTLESS

After much thought and consideration, I have discovered that these little acts of kindness from these men are triggers. What they are saying would appear to the unknowing ear, to be just a "cute" or "flirtatious" and to most, harmless gesture. But to me, when these things get said to me, they "trigger" me and a wave of anger and frustration come over me. It leads me to think of my narcs and what I had to deal with from them and it sends my blood to a boil. These men are simply saying things that would otherwise be chuckled at, even by me, back in the day. I have to see this for what it truly is, and that is a trigger that leads me down a road i don't care to travel down any more. I am going to do my best to not allow these men and what they feel they can say to me, get to me. It will be a challenge, because it is clearly brings "boundary issues" to a head. But, I am up to the task, from here on out, I will make every effort to not allow these actions to present themselves as triggers. And to make every attempt to control myself if and when they occur. It's amazing, I can go about my business, loving life, and not put forth much thought about the narcs in my life and than wham, it's amazing what one little trigger can do to you. At least I don't cry anymore, I just get irritated. Theta a blessing in itself. :)

There was a time, not too long ago, wheen I would just laugh it off. But now, I see these men for what they are...... these aren't "friendly little gestures" or "innocent comments just trying to be cute". This is the work of men that want to take advantage of a situation, to see how far they can push. Hey, maybe they will get lucky one of these times? Another one of my male friends, left his cork screw at my place the other night. He texted me to let me know. I said yes, I have it in the drawer of my bar, remind me next time I see you to give it to you. Instead of writing back "Cool, Thanks"........he writes back "I left it there on purpose so I can come over again soon" knowing the games that all these other men have been playing, knowing how insulted they have made me feel. And what does he do? Joins in, jumps on that band wagon. I am sick and tired of these men not respecting me, and not knowing their boundaries.