Relapsed

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#1 Jun 13 - 1PM
evergreen
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Relapsed

I joined this site nearly a year ago. I found it whilst trying to make sense of a 5yr relationship when my ex after splitting up with me was back with his ex within 5 weeks. Throughout our relationship he was in contact with his ex intermittently. I was like a zombie for quite sometime. I relied on this site and posted my feelings almost daily. I joined Goldies group worked through all the steps and began to get back on track. Started night school doing a counselling course, re connected with some friends and began a Tai Chi and went swimming regularly and most importantly remained NC FOR 4 mths completely.
then in late October last year the ex re appeared in my life. I felt strong, I certainly didn't want to go back into a relationship with him. For a month it stayed that way hardly ever being in contact even though he lives quite close. Then he txtd to say he was going into hospital for an operation......THERES THE HOOK....I was cautious I recognised this for what it was. I was unsure whether he was still with OW. Of course after a 7mth relationship with her he had bombarded her with e-mails, telling her he was so glad they'd re-connected and hoped never to lose her. They shared jokes at my expense, I found this out subsequently. She was wanting to take it slowly but he was full steam ahead so their relationship suffered and they decided to split up. That's when I got the txt. Despite all the work I had done my conscience wouldn't let me turn my back when he was in need. The "operation" turned out to be nothing but a tube down his nose as a day case under sedation, which didn't take place as I accompanied him to the hospital they refused to perform the procedure due to his alcohol intake.Then it was winter he had no money to heat his house due to his benefits being cut ...so I let him take a bath at my house.......before I knew it he was never away and ended up living at mine .....even though he had his own place.Of course I thrashed it out with him about why he had returned to his ex ...Oh he was good ..said if only I realised how much she had messed with his head ....turned it around so it seemed like he was the one who was victimised and played with by her.That was 7 mths ago.During this time there was no contact to my knowledge with OW.....3 weeks ago after I was ill and was becoming tired of his constant presence at my house apart from his daily trips to the local pub I felt exhausted by his neediness for constant attention...my life was becoming centred around his world again apart from my studies it was all about him again so I asked him to leave as things were not going anywhere in terms of the relationship. He txtd me I ignored he phoned I ignored he sent fb messages I ignored and blocked him ......then 1 week after leaving my house ....yes re connects with OW. Now I haven't mentioned a few dramas I had whilst he was back with me. he was going to go in for a detox in feb this year so I was optimistic but I quickly realised it was just a ruse to get his benefits re-instated and he never attended the detox once he had them all back dated with a handsome lump sum. He lived at mine all winter contributing nothing to the bills. He swore that with all the head messing he had from OW he would never go back there.......but as anyone knows these types are lazy he always knows he can return to his fall back girl. I'm pleased to have him out of my life ....and yet at the same time I miss him being in my life....the addiction. I came back here because I never want to relapse again. This time I want to move forward never going back NC ever. I cant believe I let him back into my life why why why!?

Jun 13 - 9PM
Done sourcing
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Evergreen...sorry you had to

Jun 14 - 2AM (Reply to #10)
evergreen
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Fantasy Eats Away Reality F.E.A.R.

Jun 14 - 11AM (Reply to #11)
Done sourcing
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There is no special one for

Jun 14 - 6PM (Reply to #13)
Journey
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This is the truth DS, well

Journey on...

Jun 14 - 7PM (Reply to #14)
Learningthehardway
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I wonder if they even know WHAT they want.

Jun 14 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
evergreen
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the impossible

Jun 13 - 7PM
FreeMe (not verified)
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Evergreen- It's going to be OK-

Jun 14 - 2AM (Reply to #8)
evergreen
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Thanks FreeMe I really

Jun 13 - 6PM
RedMist
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I truly feel for you. It's

Jun 14 - 2AM (Reply to #6)
evergreen
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very familiar

Jun 13 - 5PM
Janie53
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Evergreen

Jun 13 - 1PM
Used
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evergreen

Jun 13 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
evergreen
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magical touch

Jun 13 - 1PM
spinning
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evergreen, we can usually

spinning