...REDRUM.....

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#1 May 19 - 9AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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...REDRUM.....

i did a a series of posts on my blog...that i've taken down because of a couple of stalkers...about him trying to murder me......
the day he tried to murder me the first time...he'd washing down handfulls of wellbutrin...given to him by a hack psychiatrist he'd conned...he'd been sucking down quarts of booze....and i told him i wanted a divorce...

'just leave' is the mantra of the dumbasses... 'just leave if you don't LIKE it... DIVORCE HIM'.....

when i told him i wanted a divorce...he attacked me...like a lion..he lunged at me...slashed my face with a wallpaper knife....held me face down on the bed and tried to smother me to death...with me begging him not to kill me in front of my babies...to to not kill them too...

and... he never broke a sweat... he wasn't even breathing hard...he was calm... and he was SMIRKING... he was killing me..with COMPLETE NONCHALANCE... and he was CHANTING... 'i'm going to kill you bitch.. i'm going to kill you bitch'... like he was reciting his favorite nursery rhyme.....

and it was't a random act of violence...it was a completely personal act of violence....

his hatred of me was very real...and very personal....i was keeping him from drinking all he wanted to drink..from spending every last dime on booze.......he was ready, willing able and intent on murdering me....over a bottle of booze......that's how little value i had....i was standing in the way of him and booze...and he was willing to kill me over it.....

he was ready willing able and intent on killing me...and all my innocent pets.....over a bottle of booze....you read about these things..and your sickened by it....but until you've LIVED it....
i'll never get over it...as hysterical and terrified as i was...i noticed that he wasn't even breathing hard....there was no quaver in his voice......

i can't explain it exactly....but i felt...at that moment..that he was TOTALLY HIMSELF....that for the first time EVER...i was seeing him without his makeup.....for the first time ever he seemed completely AT EASE.....

May 19 - 11AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

...I NEVER SAW HIM MORE CALM AND RELAXED.....

then when he was trying to murder me...he had that same look when he was standing over BEN....calm...relaxed...SMILING...he said... 'he's dead' with such SATISFACTION....... i mean it....if he's in Hell..i want to go there too..and maybe there i can MURDER HIM...over and over and over and over...for all enternity........ “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 19 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

Reminds me of the eerie calm when exN'd dog was killed

The way you describe him here is the the exact same way my exN was when he told us that his exwife had his dog put to sleep. Like he had not emotion, he was totally calm. Not an appropriate reaction at all for the situation. Very eerie.
May 19 - 11AM
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

WOW!

That is freakin unbelievable NarcNarc! You must have been so frightened, and lived in that fear for so long...I am so sorry. I completely believe the part about his comfort, with his make up off. I saw that in mine at the end. I thought he was in mania from bipolar. I know now, it was the real him. It was shocking, traumatizing, and real. His obvious hatred for me was no longer disguised, and his words were only sharp knives, whatever he could say or do that might hurt me the worse. It worked. That lasted for weeks, until I made him leave. He wanted to stay till I killed myself..the only difference between he and a murderer. That would have been his blue ribbon. They killed a part of us. We can acknowledge that. We must. However, there is so much more to us than that...We can overcome, somehow, someway. Day by day. You gotta believe that! We all do!
May 19 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
wallaby (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The calm

NN you provide us with the most horrifying and accurate description. You describe the moment they all aspire to - the calm with achieving their nirvana. That perfect moment of killing another - the ultimate testament to their superiority and power - is what drives the the more organized ones to serial murder. Yours would have been one of those if the booze hadn't got in his way and lowered his functioning level. He would have been a much more prolific and efficient Psychopath without his beloved vodka. Ted Bundy status. With mine I have noticed he's the calmest and most himself when: On stage when he is speaking and the whole audience is riveted on his every word. When discussing violence, death and destruction. When I had internal surgery and the surgeon accidently left a staple inside - he kept asking over and over for me to describe how much it hurt while he smirked and laughed.... ICK I am crying from his criticism. He would get this almost stoned happy look on his face and THE SMIRK