really struggling!

Ah im struggling so much today. I managed to not react to my N yday but today iv ended up resopnding to one of his messages, he said 'thanks for letting me know how my boy was on christmas day night' i didnt tx him back coz he had been so cruel during the day i just wanted to not react to him last night. So today i txt back well it was a difficult day yday, with everything that has gone on, and im struggling if u must know....

Big mistake coz absolutely nothing back, he really doesnt care does he, just wanted him to tx back saying he understood and to offer to help to look after our boy... Well suppose that would be what a nice dad would do but not a disorderd one! It upsets me so much that he is just with his girlfriend having a nice christmas and just abandoned his family.

I shouldnt of responded to his tx should i, and now im desperate to tx him again.. But im gonna try really hard and not do coz ive got to try and stick to limited contact and ive probably just broke it saying how im struggling! Ah xxx