This really bothers me

25 posts / 0 new

#1 Jun 9 - 11AM

dabussard

This really bothers me

The last time I talked to my N was last Wednesday. And, something he said has really been bothering me. He told me he would see me in November. I was stunned when he said that and well pretty damn hurt. My response was "I will be way past you by then". What an ass... Does he really think that come November it will be like it was, I mean really. I just pray that I can stay away from him..

This man keeps telling me he wants a relationship with me, but we must take it slow. Wow... November is way slow.. He says that he is too busy for me right now.. He is a farmer and has been working long days in the fields.. Plus, during the summer he does sheep showing on the weekends with this daughter. The only thing that she and he have in common. She never sees him over the winter and wants nothing to do with him otherwise. I feel like I was used last winter as supply, because she wanted nothing to do with him. When she is around, he will not even acknowledge that I exist. The sad thing is he told her about me last winter. She went home and told her mom that he had finally found a good woman.. But, he refuses to include in the sheep showing thing. He is not even interested in my barrel racing that I will hopefully be starting back into by the end of the month. Why do they make these promises and then not follow thru. I don't understand why they don't want a normal relationship. Guess, I just don't understand these creatures at all!! I know I need to stop thinking about it and go on.. Guess, I am not a liar and just can't understand it...

#2 Jun 10 - 6AM

dabussard

lol

Empath, I love it.. I needed a chuckle this morning. Poor Sheep, though.. With his problem with not being able to ejactulate, that poor sheep will be worn out. He's just a jacknut that is going to die a very loney man.. I am having a much better day today. You gals and guys on here are awesome!

#3 Jun 10 - 1PM (Reply to #24)

Done sourcing

Jacknut?

Add that one to the list. Even better, the jack can't get his nut. I assume you women know what that means. Too friggin funny. I am still asking for some name suggestions for my exnw, to sooth my darkened soul when I feel compelled to launch aimlessly into the chasm of narcissistic dread. Chris

#4 Jun 9 - 5PM

empath

baaaad

OK is it just me or does anybody else here suspect his OW is one of the sheep?

#5 Jun 9 - 11PM (Reply to #22)

Arwen

Oh boy ONE of us had to say

Oh boy ONE of us had to say it LOL :-)

#6 Jun 9 - 11PM (Reply to #21)

Done sourcing

Sheep lie

:) Chris

#7 Jun 9 - 6PM (Reply to #18)

michele115 (not verified)

LMAO!!!

OMG Empath, I didn't want to say it cause I thought it would be in poor taste given that with these Narcs it could be a very real possibility!!! LOL! On a serious note, he's giving excuses...keep reading, keep learning and keep healing... Hugs!

#8 Jun 9 - 10PM (Reply to #20)

empath

I was only half-joking...

Michele, you said what I actually didn't come right out and say, and that is with all the weird stuff these Ns are into, it IS a possibility. I would be scared out of my wits to be with a man like that...I would always wonder in the back of my mind...since they trend towards abuse and perversion, have no empathy and NO CONSCIENCE, and since their behavior is reined in only by whether they can get away with it, or not. Sheep tell no tales! I know that's in baaaad taste, yet it seemed not outside the realm of probability. I meant absolutely no disrespect to dabussard, who is obviously a beautiful and caring person, and deserves so much better than this creep.

#9 Jun 9 - 9PM (Reply to #19)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

OMG!

I was thinking the same thing, probably because of Hunter's goat comments. Well, mine D&D'd me for Shrek and is supposed to marry her before the end of the year. It will be interesting to see how that plays out.

#10 Jun 9 - 3PM

onwithmylife

dabussard

i think there are deep self esteem issues within you is my hunch, I hope therapy will help you with them, i think all of us on this board ,at one time or another, have those issues, which made us more vulnerable to these creeps, people with healthy self esteem would never give them the time of day.just my thoughts.Lets get REAL, he cares nothing for you and thinks you will be sitting by the phone and crying for him until he returns in November, tell him to go to HELL.

#11 Jun 9 - 1PM

Hunter

Why are you talking to him at

Why are you talking to him at all? If you are still communicating with scrambled eggs you dot get it! Keep learning and reading Hunter

#12 Jun 9 - 12PM

dabussard

My problem is

My problem is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I love I love deeply. Not just with men, I am this way with animals. If I get close to something, I can't let it go. It becomes my life and my every thought. I think it came from my abusive parents. I put all of my love into the animals on the farm. I just plain love too deeply. I truly think this is why I can't get him out of my mind. It is totally crazy and it is scaring the shit out of me.

#13 Jun 10 - 8AM (Reply to #14)

Hunter

Dabussard

You have been brain washed to be abused. We have all faced the challenge of letting the Devil go. You are here for a reason, what is that reason? You are stuck my dear. He is abusing you and you are allowing it. We are all geode people here you have been manipulated by a disturbed creature. If you don't let go you will be stuck and never find real love, beCause my dear isn't love, its abuse. Hunter Fuck him and his crumbs.

#14 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #10)

Used

dabussard

it is not love...you are use to be abused and controlled..re abusive parents...i too am use to this abusive life, the advice i was given was..no you are used to beign controlled and so you see it as a form of security.. you know you are going to be abused when you see him and it is so familiar to you used...and you have to break the cycle...i did. i too am very intense about what is in my life and nothing else exsists for me and then slowly but surely the scales fall from my eyes and i get out...i will never again interact or get involved again...the people i know now already are the only people i intend having in my life ever again..in the 19mnths i have been nc i havent spoken to one person i didnt already know, and have ignored any overtures from any body else...sad but truexx

#15 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #11)

dabussard

Used

You are very right. My mom is very controling. She still trys to control my life. I thrive on control. Maybe, it is a form of security. I love hearing him say that I am his. When he calls me his property it actually makes me happy. How sick is that, I mean really.

#16 Jun 9 - 1PM (Reply to #12)

Used

dabussard

if you are sick then so am i ..i used to get a glow when he said you are mine i am not letting you go...i have only ever been controlled in my whole life...mother til i was 4, caregivers til i was 13/14.mother or father til i got married at 16...then after31years i divorced him then met narc controlled again...but this time, i had the internet and the wisdom that can come with age and my kids had left home so i had time to reserch and ponder and thats why i got out in one piece..my friends advice at the time was not welcomed but it was oh so true...and i will be spending the rest of my life alone b/c i know now i will always be attracted to this type of person...i am know as such a strong women but i see now ,its all a facade and when i meet a control freak like my n,s i quite honestly give up...i am hard to get they realy have to fight to get me but once they do...thats my lot and after all they have proved how much they loved me they wouldnt give up till they got me.[NOT].control freaks love a challange, thats why narc hasent given up i have become the one who got away and he got nothing off me..not matariely, sexually, not anything..he thought he had me in the palm of his hand AND I JUMPED OFF..LOLi am very low tonight to even beign admitting any of this...

#17 Jun 9 - 3PM (Reply to #13)

adoette

Ack!

"i used to get a glow when he said you are mine i am not letting you go" Holy cow! Mine said that, too, and I had the same feelings about his possessiveness....seriously, is there a manual they share or what?

#18 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #7)

nancyh

Can you share specific

Can you share specific examples of what you love about him? I ask because I felt the same way that you did, that I loved him with all of my heart, soul & being but when I took a good hard look at him - even with the rose colored glasses still on - I could only come up with that I loved his creativity - wtf is that? Try it, it might just open your eyes.

Nan

#19 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #9)

Done sourcing

I did that

and I wish I could claim something as deep as her creativity. In my sickest moments I indulge myself in thoughts of telling her why I am nc. How stupid is that. In other words, I want to talk to her to tell her why I don't want to talk to her. Lol, I can laugh at myself. It's all about the supply, and I am Done Sourcing, she can find another bank to make her endless withdrawals from. No deposit, no return! Chris

#20 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #8)

dabussard

nancyh

PROS Fun to be around Makes me laugh when we are together Hard Worker (love his work Ethic) Smart (he took my Accounting quiz and passed) A lot in Common (Farming) Smoking Hot Sex is Amazing Sweet most of the time CONS Liar Cheater Controling Manpulative Mind Games Silent Treatments Name Caller Not there Emotionally Loner

#21 Jun 9 - 3PM

adoette

I will be way past you by then

Good response, dabussard. Now make it a reality. Are you ready to go NC? From what you say about this guy, you need to RUN RUN RUN. I'll see you in November? Who pulls that shit? Dang Ns, that's who. I can tell you are confused and in a lot of pain. We've all been here. We want to cheer you on and help you GET OUT. This is the guy who vandalized your truck, right? I do not like him and I'm 100% sure that you are too good for him. What can we do to help? My heart goes out to you because he is still entwined around your heart like heartworm. (Look it up, it is totally disgusting.) You can do it. Reclaim your life and your dignity and your clarity and then you can take it from there. We all have to do things in our own time, but I hate to see you suffering at the hands of this schmuck. (((Hugs)))

#22 Jun 9 - 11AM

Used

dabussard

i thought you had blocked him...and yes you are winter supply...myexn has winter supply as well...summer he is doing the rounds to get his winter supply...and i am not going to pretty this up that is all you will ever be ..i could absolutely adore someone, but if they said oh not now i will see you in november..they would seeing me in there hospital bed....this is so fucking disrespectful to you it took my breath away. for heavens sake as long as you put up with this you will never have one bit of self esteem.fucking november, i would have said yeah come back bonfire night...you will be the guy.

#23 Jun 9 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

dabussard

Used

He is blocked I blocked him last Friday. He said all of this last Wednesday. I just can't get past the hurt, I guess... I hope come next November, That I can kick him square in the teeth, when he trys to come near me again. I hope I have recovered enough by then..

#24 Jun 9 - 12PM (Reply to #4)

adoette

dabussard

Great. Glad you blocked him. You're on your way... and with your spunk (I love this: I hope come next November, That I can kick him square in the teeth, when he trys to come near me again) you can do it. I'm so sorry it hurts so much. It is crazy-making. Thinking of you.

#25 Jun 9 - 11AM (Reply to #3)

Used

dabussard

oh i am sorry of course...i lost track of time...so he expects you to wait 5mnths, i know how hurt you are and how hard recovering is, but just this request from him alone would keep me grounded...ya know i havent just gone nc on narc b/c of what he done ,i have gone nc for SELF PRESAVATION.. i know compared to some i got out in time, if i hadnt i would have lost the very thing he was attracted to in the first place MY STRENGTH..but little by little he was eroding it..and i was allowing it...please please stay strong as you have done...all my good wishes go to youxxxx

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews