1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. All About Him Forum
  5. Really????

Really????

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 May 4 - 3PM
LilithErisRose
LilithErisRose's picture

Really????

I'm on day 4 (?) NC. I've not answered phone calls, e-mails, voice mails, he showed up at my house I refused to open the door even with his begging "just to talk" (yeah right) on day 1. He's been blocked on FB, Chat, Twitter and what have you. He has told our male friends I'm a psycho. Turned it into total projection... I lie in wait for him, i stalk him, I call him a zillion times a day He just wants to be left alone. Well ok... I live 1/4 mile down the street. I'm moving 10 miles away to get away from him and I blocked him on everything I could think of. Do the math on who stalks who. He seeks out any guy that he finds out has talked to me and makes me out to sound like some cheap attention seeking bar bimbo. I've been with 2 men in 15 years... him and my husband. It's all just a huge control game. So today on FB, I see one of my female "friend's" side of a conversation... sure... I'm ready to go for the bike ride now (insert N's name). All day long... every damn status update... wish the sun would come out so I can go riding. I know its just being done to needle me. He knows I can see it. :( Sorry just needed to vent. Really trying to stay NC today and I'm just weepy from missing the him that never existed. The whole mutual female friend thing is just an angle to get a reaction. I thoroughly convinced.

May 4 - 7PM
LilithErisRose
LilithErisRose's picture

Really part 2

Ok.. the not being able to unblock me... that makes sense. They must have changed something then because I didn't see anything for weeks now and it seems like today suddenly I can tell when he's commenting on mutual crap. Sigh. Soo... since I can see her stuff... I can tell he's already taken her to my favorite restaurant tonight (which he would never take me too because he HATES sushi. Gotten on my motorcycle to go for a ride, and now they are at the townie bar where I usually go and meet all my girlfriends on Wednesday nights). I hope Chicky is enjoying herself because she is in for one hell of a ride. Asshats... I like that. Transparent. That's all it is. :/ This too shall pass.
May 4 - 7PM (Reply to #11)
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

That didn't take long...

You're doing well, keep that up, welcoming distractions and things to keep your mind free of him/them, unfortunately when you lose N you lose some of your past life, sad but true. If you find that you can't handle seeing them together, you may have to forgo going to your favorite hang out and "unfriend" her too, it maybe crucial in your recovery, best wishes.

stay~strong

May 4 - 6PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Sorry you're having a hard time...

Look aside from being mental midgets - they're asshats...there, I said it... Really...in time you will see and be upset with yourself for making this midget so much more than IT is...I promise you that. Hugs!
May 4 - 5PM
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

You're doing great!

So far, don't give up or in!..u may have to "kill" her on FB, or not look at it, they do these things out of spite, I know, been there, done that one. Hang in there and distract yourself with something more positive, productive, fb is a great place to meet up with old colleagues but I've witnessed some messy stuff between local friends/family, don't get caught up in that, I hope the best for you.

stay~strong

May 4 - 5PM
findingmeagain
findingmeagain's picture

They always use other women

They always use other women to make someone hurt or jealous fight him with fire go out with a male friend and have a ball . shyt i wish i had some male friends to do stuff with .
May 4 - 4PM
Steph
Steph's picture

Lilith...

Good for you for blocking him in all those ways! That shows how strong and how dedicated you are to getting him out of your life. Sounds like he is grasping at straws here....couldn't get at you through the other ways, so he is getting desperate. This "friend" of yours....why is she hanging out with him? Perhaps it's time to end another toxic relationship and remove her from FB. Your strong so hang in there! xoxo
May 4 - 4PM
7yeaeritch
7yeaeritch's picture

Really??

Can you not block him from FB so you see no messages that his name is attached to? I did that at first with my ex, then decided to defriend him entirely then got off FB. I had to do it in stages. I don't know if you can still do that cause FB changes its format so often. I found I couldn't stay on it. I keep my childhood friends who are also his friends -- I'm not losing something else I care about because of him -- but there were just too many not-close friends we had in common on there.
May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
LilithErisRose
LilithErisRose's picture

He's blocked

He's un-friended and blocked. He's engaging with a mutual female friend, albeit not a very close one. I can only see her side of her status posts. She mentioned his name in them. I was tempted to write "real bikers ride in the rain". But I decided that would be breaking NC. I can tell he unblocked me because I can see his name tagged in pictures now (can't click on them though to see him because I have him blocked). This is new as of today so he's definitely putting his toe in to see if he can get a reaction. It's true to pattern. I've been trying to stay busy today. I had a bad wave of "what if/if only" so I wrote this. I took a shower, just came out and I had a blank e-mail to my work address from his personal address. Angle Angle Angle. I am not responding with the "why did you send me a blank e-mail" which I am sure he is waiting for. Or... maybe I'm just paranoid. Either way, I'm going for a long car ride. I feel the same way you do about mutual friends. I refuse to give up anymore than I already have.
May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

he can't

he can't unblock you if you have him blocked because your name won't show on his "block" list, you can still see some things even though he is blocked, I have seen tags of peoples names I have blocked and their post as well, I was like how? they are blocked, as someone mentioned fb changes its platform so often it's hard to figure out sometime, but you may have to block her as well, I "killed" fb until I can get past the Narc non~sense, I am friends with most of his family so I just disappeared, best wishes.

stay~strong

May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
findingmeagain
findingmeagain's picture

Block the emails thats what i

Block the emails thats what i did my ex N is blocked from everything and if he just shows up at my house like he did three weeks ago hoovering and crap i'm calling the police. he made it this way . used my kids, family lifestyle (he knows i want us to be a family again), and suicide to bait me in . so now i'm never speaking to him again. i've tried before to get him to come and get the kids on the weekends so he can spend time with them. but when he realized i was moving on with my life and may get another guy he refused to answer the phone and come and get them. so now the court will be handling things .
May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
LilithErisRose
LilithErisRose's picture

The problem with complete NC

The problem with complete NC from him is he is locked into a loan making payments to me (by Mail to a P.O. Box now). I leave my work e-mail unblocked because I can direct it elsewhere by setting up the parameters so that if he does e-mail me, I don't see it right away to bait me into responding. I just checked Chicky's status again... she's "going out to dinner with a friend". Looks like within ten min of my blank email from N. I know I sound paranoid. Hell, I feel paranoid. I would be willing to bet that either a) he's fishing to see if he can get a foot back in the door with me (positive attention) or b) he did it so that I would contact him while he had her with him. Either to hurt me by telling me he "was at dinner and couldn't talk" or to "prove" his case that I won't stop contacting him to our mutual friends. (Negative attention). I'd unfriend her but I think that will show him it bothers me. I don't want him to have even the slightest satisfaction of winning. Part of me is pissy about Chicky, the other part is trying to laugh at how quickly my life will start to improve when he sinks his fangs into something else for supply. God, I feel so much better after writing all of this. thank you everyone. It truly is nice to be surrounded (albeit virtually) by others that have and are going through the same circle of hell.