Random Acts of Narcissism

I am now 3 years NC from the N who drove me to seek out the therapist who opened my eyes, so my radar for Ns has gotten pretty good. I've spent the last 2 weeks traveling internationally, which involved spending lots of time in busy airports and crowded planes, busy train and bus stations and crowded trains and buses and couldn't help but notice how Ns use these places to find supply.

Sam Varkin wrote, "The narcissists goes around 'hunting and collecting' the way expressions on people's faces change when they notice him. He places himself at the center of attention, or even as a figure of controversy." What better place to accomplish this than a crowded place where people are hurrying to make travel connections? It takes so little effort to disrupt so many people.

For example, I was standing in the security checkpoint line waiting to have my carryon scanned. Hundreds of people were in line with me, and thousands were waiting in other lines. We had all gotten off international flights and were scurrying to get to the domestic flights terminal, so for most of us this was the 4th or 5th checkpoint we had to wait in that day and we were all eyeing our watches. I heard more than one person say they were worried about making their connecting flight.

I didn't much notice the older couple in front of me other than identifying their accent as Austrian. As we got nearer to the conveyor belt that sends your luggage through the scanner I (and those around me) began to prepare for the checkpoint, removing shoes and organizing electronics.

The Austrian man did not make any effort to organize but waited until he was right at the conveyor belt to begin leisurely taking off his shoes and coat, taking one security tray at a time to hold his belongings. I waited politely until it looked as if he had all the trays he needed, then began placing my things in trays behind him. He made no effort to hurry, then made a comment to me that I was rushing him and that my things were in his way.

I glanced ahead of him. His wife was already through the checkpoint, and the coveyor belt (which normally holds a steady stream of carryon luggage) was completely empty as he held up the line. When I looked back at him I could see it in his eyes, that hungry look Ns have when they are fishing for supply. So I completely ignored him and proceeded to load up my security trays as if he had said nothing.

On the other side I picked up my things and proceeded to my connecting flight, but briefly noticed he was still trying to make eye contact with me. Then I noticed the perfectly groomed hair and clothing, the arrogant posture, all the telltale signs of a classic narcissist. I continued to ignore him and made it to my connecting flight with only minutes to spare.

I was pleased with myself, that I was able to recognize the trap and not engage, but couldn't help thinking about the circumstances. How easy it was for him to impact hundreds of people, he had the power to disrupt our lives simply by dawdling for a minute or two. I've seen this before at airports (Newark is the worst) but it can happen just as easily at the grocery store (like when two people with carts shop side by side, chatting together and completely blocking the ailse for all other shoppers).

Has anyone else noticed this? What are your experiences with Random Acts of Narcissism?