quick update

Hey! Well I made it through the holidays, which present challenges even without dealing with xN and all this recovery. But we had such a fantastic holiday! I did not give a minute to the xN. I felt so good about that.

I had to look myself up and it looks like I'm coming up on 6 months NC. Total NC! I can't believe it. But I totally believe in the power of NC. If anyone is new here PLEASE! NC is so so helpful for us. Do this. I have not removed any of the blocks anywhere. I'm not going to because I'm not taking any chances.

I had a couple days where I got a rash of hangups on my landline but I just blew them off. If it was xN (which I don't know), he's not worth the fee to find out. And I never answer that phone anyways. Only if there's a message on it that I need to call back.

I am really doing well. I am digging deep and things are starting to get better. I have to say my first attempts at things like standing up for myself, making better decisions, purging negative people from my life - - well they came out awkward and sideways but I am getting better at it and it is SO freeing!

My head is pretty clear for the most part. And it's due to so many things it's hard to think of them all. But what I can tell you is I have no clue which one would be the straw to break the camels back so I know that I can't undo any of what I've done to change me and my life so this does not happen.

I'm not saying I'm cured. I have emotions. They didn't go away. But I feel like I'm learning and growing in a way that I won't get myself in a mess like this again.

I hope everyone is well.

Hugs
round3