question/thoughts

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#1 Mar 30 - 12PM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

question/thoughts

I have a question:

My exN never goes out (well not very often), he has to pre think a situation and make sure he fits comfortably into it, before he will do anything. He thinks about 3-4 different scenarios and plays them out in his head. He talks about parties that happened 10years ago, like they happened yesterday. Its like he still in his mind thinks daily about when he had friends. He will tell you now he doesnt have friends and thats because at one point he has stole all there gf's and now makes more money then them. He hasnt stole anyones gf in the last 10years and doesnt have a job. My question is on top of being an N, I have thought for a long time he could be bipolar. Or have some other type of disorder.

I have provided his family with some links on NPD. Which they are reading thro.

As of right now his family is concerned. Hes so depressed, he doesnt leave the house sometimes for a week, doesnt try to work, his skin is bad, he looks horrible. They think he might be depressed or bipolar. This all stared (to get worse) when I left. I was also a very BIG source of supply and his family adores me...so he has been called an idiot over and over by a lot of people, the last 3 months.

However.....is this just a different type of NPD, I mean there is a large spectrum right? I refused to help him (nor did they ask me too), however I did recommend they google NPD.

Any thoughts? Can you have a slu of disorders?

Mar 31 - 1PM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

too much to handle...

I understand that he sleeps when hes depressed (alot of people do) and I understand that he doesnt wanna go anywhere or do anything.(as a lot of depressed people do) However, he still talks non stop about himself and smokes weed, and will hang out with ANYONE that can stand him for more then 20minutes. Again, talking about himself. So Im so confused. I have spent a lot of time thinking about him in the last 24hours, too much if you ask me. I was reminiscing about the good times, and then quickly flash back to the bad times. I snap back quick. Still hurts tho. Anyways, he refuses to go to any sort of treatment or to take any sort of medication. He freaks out when its even mentioned so much so the family stopped talking about it. Now instead they are trying to find ways to just cope with him as he has a son whom they adore. I guess we will never know what he deal is, but at the end of the day does it really matter? I think he is just a depressed Narc who lost the "best" supply he ever had. I was good because his friends and family like me. His other girls were hated. So now he looks worse, and for that I dont pity him.
Mar 30 - 4PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcissism vs. Bipolar Disorder

Patients in the manic phase of bipolar disorder often exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of pathological narcissism. These symptoms include extreme control, hyperactivity, self-centeredness and lack of empathy. For this reason, the manic phase of Bipolar Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). During the manic phase of Bipolar Disorder the patient is euphoric, has grandiose fantasies, develops unrealistic schemes, and is irritated and provoked to anger very easily. The manic phases of bipolar disorder only last for a limited time however, and are usually followed by depressive phases marked by pessimism, self-devaluation and self-deprecation. The narcissist, even when depressed, never gives up their narcissism. Their grandiosity, sense of entitlement, haughtiness, and lack of empathy never go away. Narcissists experience depression when confronted with the drab reality of their life (their failures, lack of accomplishments, disintegrating interpersonal relationships, and low status) as opposed to their high opinions of themselves. They can easily escape these depressions and return to manic euphoria with just one dose of Narcissistic Supply. Bipolar patients can not escape their depression so easily however. Their moods are subject to brain biochemistry. While narcissists are in full control of their faculties, even when maximally agitated; bipolar patients often feel loss of control of their brains, speech, attention spans and motor functions. The bipolar patient is prone to reckless behaviors and substance abuse only during the manic phase. The narcissist does drugs, drinks, gambles, shops on credit, indulges in unsafe sex or in other compulsive behaviors while manic and depressive. The bipolar patient’s manic phase generally interferes with their social and occupational functioning. Many narcissists, on the other hand, reach the top of their community, work or church’s social or occupational ladder. Narcissists can function flawlessly; inevitable blowups and the grating extortion of Narcissistic Supply usually put an end to their career and social liaisons. Narcissists’ risk for self-harm is minute while bipolar patients are often hospitalized during their manic phases. Bipolar patients regret their misdeeds following the manic phase and try to atone for their actions, while narcissists experience no guilt. Both types of patients contend to give advice, carry out an assignment, accomplish a mission, or embark on an endeavor for which they are uniquely unqualified and lack the talents, skills, knowledge, or experience required. The bipolar patient’s pretentiousness is far more delusional than the narcissist's. Ideas of reference and magical thinking are common and, in this sense, the bipolar is closer to the schizophrenic than to the narcissistic. When treating patients who display manic symptoms associated with NPD, doctors should closely evaluate them in order to discern whether it could be bipolar disorder. http://www.bipolarcentral.com/documents/Bipolar-Disorder-Symptoms/Narcissism-vs-Bipolar-Disorder.php ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 30 - 1PM
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

From what I understand yes!

From what I understand yes! They can have a slew of disorders. Personality disorders I think often run hand in hand with other things. My impression of your ex from an N standpoint is that he's not very good at it anymore. He relaxed a bit too much and failed to line up back up supply and when you left he was like a vampire without blood. But of course there may be other stuff going on, too.
Mar 30 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

itreallyisabouthim ...

You know what, that makes a lot of sense!! His old sources of supply have either seen threw him, or have moved on to healthy relationships. He has actually said that in the past. He use to be a lot worse. Hes WAY lazier now. What a joke.
Mar 30 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

whatever

How bad is it that I would like to know mine is "hurting" (ya right) like this, so he could get a taste of the pain I've been through. Total fantasy of course. My ex is like a damn CAT, always landing on his feet no matter what. He's a very efficient N, which is kind of a redundant statment in a lot of cases. SELF-PRESERVATION is what it's all about. Screw everybody else.
Mar 30 - 1PM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

dont get me wrong...

this isnt to help him, Im just wondering. I wouldnt help him if he was the last man on earth. Just to be clear, LOL
Mar 30 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

whatever2009

you aren't usually BiPolar and N. People often confuse the 2 disorders though. but you can have overlapping disorders. Schizotypal & N... etc. he doesn't sound bipolar at all. he sounds more like MDD - Major Depressive Disorder: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/psychiatric-disorder-definitions/major-depression-clinical-depression/menu-id-71/ maybe the family needs to get him admitted to a mental health clinic for a while ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 30 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

mine has bpd too

Just for the record, my stbxnph has bipolar too..... That's one reason why I let so msny things go by during our marriage. I blamed it on the bipolar, which he refused to do meds for. Towards the end, I just knew he was in a manic phase, because his behavior was so totally cold and bizarre. Now I know, that was the real him... He had taken his mask off, and I was seeing HIM... He did go through a depressed state soon after as well....So yes, they can have it all. Total nuts!