Pseudo Empathy

Oh…. This passage from Freeing Yourself from the Narc in Your Life hits soooo close to home.

“On the surface, the empathy of the narcissist seems to be genuine. With a mastery of social graces and his quick study of human nature, the narcissist appears to care about our deepest and most intimate thoughts and feelings. He uses this ability to tap into the other person’s narcissistic needs for admiration, praise, recognition, and power. (Morty – no comment here other than to read my story for a real life example of this vampirism =( . Behind the feigned attentiveness and apparent concern is cool calculation (Morty – I feel sick). Pseudo-empathy is exquisitely designed by the narcissist to manipulate others so they will fulfill his narcissistic needs.” (Morty – well, explains why the narc said he has been manipulating people, not just women, his whole life. I used to give him kudos for at least admitting it, assuming he was sincere when he said the needed to do something about it. Now I know the kudos were just encouraging him to do it MORE. )

“Pseudo-empathy is packaged as finely tuned performance, an act that convinces most people. The narcissist focuses all of this attention on you like a laser beam. (Morty – oh God – this hurts). He gives you the impression that you are not alone as long as he is by your side, solving your problems, anticipating your needs. He makes you feel good: more beautiful, confident, brighter, entitled, sexier than you could ever imagine. (I fucking hate him). In the embrace of an accomplished narcissist, we can easily be deluded. We stand on the highest peak, arms spread wide, surveying all that is ours. How grandiose we can become under his irresistible spell.”

“The narcissist always has a variety of scenarios in mind for those caught in his web of enchantment. He wants something that each one can supply him: money, an entrée to powerful connections, a stunning woman at his side, an impulsive sexual embrace, a convivial drinking companion. Like any great predator , he knows who to single out for the kill and how to feel his prey.”

“The charm of the narcissist is deliberate and studied. He is watching for your reaction to his advances and compliments. His acting mode is in full bloom. He has set out to catch you in his net. Will you be able to wake up, wiggle out, and escape, or will you become another victim of his pseudo-empathy?”

I really, really hate that MF.