I was thinking about projection this morning and it is a very complex thing and i dont tink i have properly got my head round it , anyone want to do a quick summory on projection and how it manerfests (so sorry about the spelling i think i need to go back to school !)
Big love xxx
Since the narc will defend his false self under any circumstances, he is not able for real self reflection, he might have hints that something might be wrong with HIM, but he can't wrap his mind around that really - not to the point to take action and to make a real change.
I noticed that, sometimes he said "maybe it is me who is stupid, since I think everyone else is stupid, can that be?" - that is how far his hindsight goes, thats it.
So what they are doing then is, projecting their own inner conflicts onto others and so he tries to resolve those conflicts OUTSIDE from himself, like this his false ego is protected.
You cannot see what you are not the vibration of. I think it is hard for us to differ what is our problem and what is theirs, who is the recipient and who is the sender.
In our case we tend to make their problems they project onto us to our proplems, since we have problems to set firm boundaries.
They instead have a huge boundary around their false self, the defence mechanism is the projection of inner problems and flaws onto others, he sees in us what deep in him he doesnt like in himslef.
If a narc throws an insult at you, e.g. "you're so insensitive", usually you can replace "you're" with "I'm" and then you'll have the truth of the matter.
If they say you're insensitive, they mean they are. If they say you're a bitch, they mean they're a bastard.
I've also seen it where they try to get others to express their emotions for them. Like, they're angry but rather than express it in a healthy way, they'll provoke someone near them over and over until that person just explodes. The narc actually gets relief from the other person's expression of emotion, and then more often than not slams them for it, and points out how out of control they are. Weird eh?
"You're a two-face"
"You need to get to know yourself before you can be in a relationship again"
"Stop projecting things onto me" - this one was my favourite, I just burst out laughing and said okay.
ladies this might not be projection but i went to a concert in the summer time for my D b,day and he could only ask WHO i was going with, i thought WTH? is that all he was bothered about? not his D enjoying herself..so then came the projection..'i am going on hols with my GF and im taking D' True to his very self. Anyway the reason why i say this is because he telephoned after the concert and asked if took any pictures and i said NO as i dont have a camera, he literally went to N rage?? i could not understand this at the time, but i know now. He asked who was there i told him to look it up on the internet, he could not even listen to me when i said his D had a great time, NOTHING, anyway to cut a long story short i said 'Justin Bieber was there' he said 'WHO is that?' now please, surely everyone in the WORLD knows Justin!!! so i have been listening to Justin tonight!! lololol, as i think he deserves every bit of ATTENTION rather than EXN, that gives me a idea....lol
"U R THE COLDEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I SWEAR TO GOD, N NO ONE ELS KNOWS THIS EXCEPT ME"
"U BECAME SOMEONE U URSELF WUD NOT LIKE VERY MUCH"
```Live,Laugh,love```
so I was a phony because I lightened my haircolor artificially, I was supposedly "misrepresenting" myself because of that.....and he told his mom that he was positive that I was Bi-polar.
And she was a stupid Narc herself, so she believed it.
are verging on SLANDER'. lolol what have you been saying about me NARC boy...? This was one of the first thing i learnt when i came on to this lovely forum.PROJECTION
I was thinking about
projection
To add to what Jen's written
"You're a two-face" "You
Even
Sorry
"U R THE COLDEST PERSON I'VE
```Live,Laugh,love```
Jen79
michelle
yeah
ShaynasMommy
projection
He called me....
```Live,Laugh,love```
'You