Projection

You get it.. We have to get you head and heart working together .. Hunter

Hi, this is my first post here and my N did exactly the same to me. We started a relationship in June 2010 and have ended in October 2011. During our time together, I found out he was having an affair with a woman living near, was still sleeping to his ex-girlfriend and more recently found out he was also romancing on the Net a woman from the Dominican Republic. Actually he's going to visit her in the beggining of February. When I started to confront him about his cheating behaviour, he started to revert things against me: I had issues, I was a controlling person, he feared me and everything was my fault. He always said he has problems of being honest because he was hurt in the past and wanted to avoid the feeling of being in a prison like the plague. So, he projected a lot his own problems on me, in order I can think I was the crazy one. Have started NC yesterday, because I also find out he didn't want a relationship with me (he says he doesn't want relationships with anyone) but wanted to sleep with me at any cost. Since I'm not the type of sleeping with a man I'm not having a relationship with and would never allow what his mistresses allow (they don't mind sleeping with him and sharing him with other women), I really had to cut him off, to keep my mental sanity. Don't allow his accusations to haunt you, because it's bullshit. I'm not a native English speaker, so please forgive me for any broken English.

It isn't you its HIM. i know with all there protecting and bullshit we start to question ourselves and self blame. He even managed to make me feel like the crazy one while it was all his abuse that made me react emotionally. His friend who is a jerk himself. told me "I just hope u get better." like for real? i felt pissed. after reading all this and getting to know about NDP more from this forum and other resources, i understadn what is gaslighting, crazy-making, triangualtion, hoovering etc..all which I got to experience, i realize more than ever that they are sick and manipulative.

Yes...of course he did this to me telling me he was trying to help me.... I didnt need help....the only thing I needed was to wake the hell up, which I did!!!! Everything he said to me...was HIM!!! Remember, like the book says..."It's all About HIM" so yes, everything he said to you was ALL ABOUT HIM...ironic isnt it?!?!?!

is a hallmark of NPD, read up as much as you can, there is lots of info on here, other websites and books, it will all become very clear in time for you..............

your post really hit me because my ex told me 'nobody will ever love me the way he loves me'- what a stupid assbag...of course no1 will love me the way he did cos it was not love to begin with! yep, N's love to project...they loved blaming every1 for their issues and making us believe we were the problem when infact they were clearly psychotic. Dont think too much about it, its not worth it...evil ppl say mean things and us good people unfortunately believe it. He will get his day....dont worry. my ex told me when i just left him 'may whatever bad luck God has put out there for you to punish u for leaving me...may that bad luck be passed to me cos i love u so much' LIKE WTF?? REALLY? I think I actually laughed when I read the msg.